by Garrett Anderson

Created on: January 03, 2009

What I am about to write here is profound. If you have landed on this article, you are going to find an introduction to emotional freedom. You won't need to worry about just resolving conflict with an ex-spouse. What I'm about to offer up here is a way to shut out conflict entirely.

Like many of you, I grew up in a competitive world. A world where you attained credibility by the initials before or after your name. Success was measured by how big your house was, your college education, how nice your clothes were, your trophy spouse. Those were the rules, I accepted them like most everyone I knew. Everything was a competition to see who could be faster, smarter, the winner. Winning's not everything, it's the only thing. Who doesn't know that famous Vince Lombardi quote? The dude was talking about football. But we applied it to our everyday lives. And in our everyday lives, winning generally means someone has to lose? Doesn't it? That's the breeding ground of conflcit.

Two years ago, I was a very competitive person. I had to win, to be smarter and brighter than everyone else. But in doing so, I angered a lot of folks. Oh, sure I got the biggest house, the biggest truck, the biggest motorcycle. But I accumulated a lot of emotional baggage and resentments along the way. They weighed heavy on me. So heavy in fact, I was virtually incapable of being happy. I had simply angered too many folks and that little lynch mob I had built would tear me down and eventually set me free. I began to search for a way to shut all that anger and noise out. I did.

What happened to me was miraculous. I came to understand that every conflict I had was because of me and how I chose to see things. Choice is the operative word here. Perception is every thing. I had accepted the premise that conflict was inevitable because I was a "victim." I was simply trying to succeed. Then it struck me. Every conflict in my life was my fault. Each and every one of them, to a lesser or higher degree. I had decided to engage in them simply to impose my will, control and ego and when I lost, well that made me a victim, didn't it? And as I lost, I tried to win next time and I ratcheted and one upped myself into some miserable places. Conflict. War plans in my head. A miserable existence. So how did I shut it off and get emotional freedom? Ok, I'll tell you exactly what I did. It was hard work and I won't be able to explain everything in detail because I simply don't have the time or space here. You must trust

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