by Shana Augillard

Created on: January 02, 2009

If you and your spouse have decided to separate and/or to divorce, here are some powerful and useful thoughts to help you on your journey. It is very easy to become extremely emotional when a long time relationship or marriage is coming to an end. One must understand that it is a step that can affect many people. The most important people are the parents and the children. It is pertinent that people think about the process of separating and the short term and long term effects it will have on all people involved. Unless the marriage state is violent, the adults should talk things out and agree on terms of the divorce prior to going to court. The parents should have separation over an extended period so that the kids start to become comfortable with some changes. (i.e. parents sleeping separate rooms and eating dinner separately). If the parents are both committed to the children and plan on living pretty close by after the divorce is over, consider equal custody and no child support. This way both people will be accessible and the main bittrness to be resolved will mainly be hurt feelings and disbelief.

Shaykobi Destiny Resources is about to launch this awesome series of books for children ages 3-9. The Divorce Series will be addressing the issues of family separation from a vantage point of a child. Children can become totally negative, hurtful, depressed and suicidal when it comes to the divorce of their parents. It does not matter if they are the natural or step-parents. The site, aspiritualjourney.com is taking pre-orders right now for that divorce series. My parents got divorced many years ago and I must admit that it affected me adversely. Looking back, I wish that I could have read a book to gain some understanding instead of hearing bits and pieces of adult conversations and trying to put the story together for myself.

When adults are overcome with their own feelings of loss and angst it can be a process to deal with the children. That is why parents should consider even seeking counseling when they decide to divorce. While you are being helped to wrok through any unresolved issues, Shaykobi Destiny can help your child to process what is going on in the most innocent terms. Remember you and your children are equally important when it comes to getting a divorce. This world will be a much better place when we take our time and when we consider others ahead of ourselves.

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