It used to be that when a marriage was falling apart, one partner would have to cite grounds for a divorce or fault of the other partner. These faults could include such charges as adultery, physical cruelty or mental cruelty (abuse), marital desertion, sexual incapacity, prison incarceration, or a case of insanity stemming from mental or emotional problems. These accusations could only be denied in court which proved almost as costly as the alimony or support that followed.
Most of the country now follows a path to allow for either FAULT or NO FAULT divorces. The Fault divorce follows the steps and accusations listed above. It is used when one partner is denying the grounds for divorce or has some vested interest whether it be financial, parental, even life threatening or altering to the other partner.
A Fault divorce is costly, time consuming and can drag names and reputations with it. The NO FAULT is simpler, but can be just as costly without being as harrowing. Instead of deep rooted charges based on direct grounds, The No Fault divorce has a general coverall such as irreconcilable differences or just basic incompatibility. There is really no need for any burden of proof from either spouse. This type of divorce has been used as a way of filing for a divorce whether the other partner consents to it or not.
When it comes to whether both partners agree to a divorce leads to the CONTESTED and UNCONTESTED DIVORCE. The Uncontested divorce is easiest to explain. If one partner agrees to all requests from the other partner, than it is seen by the courts as uncontested. These requests would involve money and finances, possessions, debts, child support and custody issues, property, and in certain cases alimony. If both partners can not come to an agreement, the divorce is contested and becomes a costly venture to sort out the details of what either partner is willing to give or take.
When it comes to either a Contested or Uncontested there are really no winners or losers. The adage has always been if you could agree on everything you would still be married. The Uncontested divorce is for people who have already divided their lives and can make a clean split without much collateral damage in the process. It is a dream for most divorcing partners, but there are always obstacles when children, debt or finances are involved.
The easiest process for all divorce seekers are a SIMPLE or SIMPLIFIED DIVORCE. These usually do not go through courts and are signed off by a lawyer or arbitrator. The best explanation for a simplified divorce is a split that is seen as No Fault, Uncontested and can be settled with no disagreements. It is probably the least expensive divorce process. The reason why is because there are usually no children involved and finances were agreed upon before the separation. It is not only the simplest route to go, but also the quickest to be granted.
Most Simplified divorces can be granted within a month or two. The Contested divorce process is the most expensive and time consuming. It could take years to settle and cost thousands of dollars for lawyers and court fees. Each type of divorce varies from State to State, so it is best to do a little homework before filing.
Here are some simple steps to take to understand your situation and the divorce process:
1. Talk to another divorced friend or acquaintance in your area. Try and find out which steps worked for them and those which did not. Do not judge your own situation on someone else's case. Each case is different. Each court is different. Each judge can be different.
2. Talk to a Lawyer. Most "first" consultations are free and they can be open to revealing some general suggestions. Do not get too personal on a first consultation.
3. Talk to a close friend, church member, even family member. A divorce has two people at odds with each other and you may not be thinking straight. Try to get your head clear by talking out details that you might have missed otherwise.
4. If you are divorcing with kids involved, remember that they are bigger than you are and the situation. This is more important than any process you decide on using for the split. The courts would rather have you focused on the children than your personal desires.
5. Remember that your partner is a human being (or was once) and that civility should be the rule of the day. Anger, hurt and resentment will always be attached in some form to the divorce. It's the higher ground that we all want to achieve.