by Lisenga Sutter

Created on: January 02, 2009   Last Updated: January 06, 2009

From Marriage to Divorce and Still Friends. My now ex-husband and I met through mutual friends, and I had just gotten out of a very abusive relationship, and in meeting him, he was everything that I was not use to in a man. Everything moved so quickly for us, within three months of dating we were moving in with each other. He was in the United States Navy and in the process of getting out, I was locally raised in Hawaii, and rather then returning home to California, he opted to stay in Hawaii with me. I believe in my heart of hearts that we were in love for about a minute. And before we knew it we were on the way to getting married. The wedding its self was beautiful and I was living in a fantasy world. Two years into the marriage we had a son, my now second child, and I had sincerely convinced myself that we were completely happy.

As time progressed, and our relationship continued to grow, I began to realize that there were a lot of things about one and other that we didn't know about the other. Time moved on, but we were stuck in a rut of not knowing enough about each other to sincerely have a good and healthy marriage. I knew that we had moved to quickly into a relationship that we didn't take the time to be friends to one and other prior to us becoming lovers, and had not been lovers long enough to become husband and wife, and with this new found knowledge, I knew that we were not going to be able to continue this illusion that we had convinced ourselves was our life, or what it was that was suppose to be.

I found that be having this understanding mutually, that the split up would not be as rough as we both know that it could have been. I believe that too many men and women force themselves to be in a loveless marriage out of a comfort ability that has developed over time, or that they are so accustom to one and other that they don't want to find out what it was going to be like to be without the other person, or of course my favorite justification, "for the kids" to where it causes the two people to get to the point of not enjoying each others company for so long that when the split does occur that there is nothing left there other then anger and hurt.

If in a relationship, you are spending more time being angry with the other person, to where you can't even remember what it was about that person that made you fall in love in the first place, then sincerely, why are you staying there. Life is way to short to remain unhappy. Yes it was very scary having to

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>