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By nature, most guinea pigs are quiet and passive, slowly giving away their trust and rarely having a bad bone in their body. It takes quite a feat to make one hate you; but with a few simple tricks it really isn't as hard as it first appears.

1. Blow in their faces constantly. Make sure every time you do so they see it was you; this way they'll associate the unpleasant experience with your face, and know whenever you come they can expect to be mistreated.

2. Make sure you don't get them another guinea pig. Guinea pigs are social creatures, and no matter how much time you spend with them, they'll crave another guinea pig to interact with. Think of it like this; if you were stranded in a confined space for all of your life, and you were given a dog to befriend, wouldn't you still long for another human to socialize with? Same goes for guinea pigs. While they can be content on their own, they'll feel a whole lot more lonely throughout the day.

3. Next, never offer them any treats. Treats like vegetables and the occasional fruit only build trust and love between yourself and your guinea pig, and offering them treats (especially by hand) can be very detrimental to your quest to get your guinea pig to hate you.

4. Never hold them. Partner this with #2 and they'll feel alone and neglected; they may long for your company, but if you just sit outside their cage blowing in their face, they'll absolutely hate you.

5. Adorn their cage with pictures of tigers and other predators. While a lion may be your favorite animal, a guinea pig will most likely not enjoy the change in scenery. By nature they are prey animals native to South America, and as such scare easily. Even a picture can be very frightening. To make the impact even more dramatic, find a machine that plays roars and growls from these majestic predators and leave it on an infinite loop for your guinea pig to enjoy'.

6. Don't give them a house to hide in. Guinea pigs, as mentioned earlier, scare very easily and greatly benefit from having a place to hide. If you remove the house or hiding area that they have, they will become a lot more stressed all throughout the day. This results in more mistrust and fear between you and your guinea pig, which is perfect for making them hate you.

7. Poke them. Every guinea pig needs exercise, and tormenting them with the fear of your hand is a great way to increase their life span and their hate for you! While most guinea pigs preference will be to run, there's always that odd biter that will face your finger head on rather than scramble. If so, get creative and use something besides your hand. A fly swatter could be just as effective; just be careful not to harm your guinea pig! That would take away the point of poking them.

8. Blast music all day; preferably heavy metal. Guinea pigs have very sensitive ears, and loud and irritating music can put them on edge. Just like soft and calming music can lift their moods, more intense genres do more to agitate them. Never play the music too loud or they could go deaf, and this technique would no longer work.

And there you have it. Eight simple steps that will ensure a hateful, or at the least unhappy, guinea pig. While the task may at first seem daunting to get a guinea pig to hate you, stick with this routinely and you're sure to find success!

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