by M.

Created on: January 01, 2009

Dye it! Dye it! Dye it! Get rid of the little gray irritants, sorry I meant to say gray reminders. I am thirty-eight years old and I began completely dying my hair this year. Gray hair reminds me of my mother and grandmother, honorable women but I just cannot begin to wrap my mind around the fact I am definitely getting older. At this point in my life I do not want to feel it or see it, TIME. Time is not only getting away but definitely leading the way as well. I feel as if I falling behind, I'm not even close to winning. I am not wasting my life and I definitely am doing my best to enjoy everyday but just like there is never enough time, there is never enough money. I feel as if I am working more than enjoying time.

My college student came home for Christmas break, he is taller than me now. As he was pointing out this fact he stated that my age was showing. I had to ask him what he was talking about and he said that I had gray hair everywhere. I do not remember replying but I became irritated with his statement. He doesn't know that this comment causes a fear inside me. While I am writing this I realize getting older bothers me more that I have ever acknowledged. I guess I just had an aha moment! :)

I began highlighting my hair at the age of twenty-eight because there were a few gray strands here and there that bothered me. I voiced this to my hair stylist who at the time told me gray hair is highly regarded as a facet of "wisdom" I told her that my few gray strands were there because of stress, please highlight my hair. I only have to dye my hair twice a year. In my opinion this is not troublesome nor is the procedure expensive compared to how I feel when I see the gray hairs.

I am disgusted with myself when I see my grays and afraid that I am running out of time. Fact is life is short and my gray hair emphasizes that point so boldly and bluntly. Covering the gray is temporary and I know this doesn't stop time but can we put it on pause?! So much happens so quickly and unexpectedly.

Until I reach that certain point of maturity where two or three strands of gray hair doesn't freak me out I will continue to dye my hair proudly. Whether my list of life goals are accomplished or not.

The individual who has gone completely gray is sure of themselves, has accomplished all their goals and are indeed wise. I do not feel that I am even close to these descriptions. Gray hair is distinguished and sets you apart from the crowd.

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