by Donna Reynolds

Created on: December 31, 2008   Last Updated: January 07, 2009

Divorce is one of the most trying times in a person's life no matter what gender you are. As children we have this picture in our head of the perfect wedding and the perfect life in which we grow old together and have children and grandchildren nipping at our ankles for years to come. But let's face it, this is not a perfect world and everyone must eventually face the cruel reality that love doesn't always last forever and relationships aren't always perfect.

There are many types of divorce and which one you settle upon often depends on where you live. In 1970, California (the state that often paves the way for the rest of us) changed the way people viewed divorce as well as the ease in which they could get out of a marriage by passing the first "no-fault" divorce law in the United States. Before that, in order to get a divorce, one spouse had to have done something seriously wrong. By wrong what I mean is that he or she had to be "at fault" for the failure of the marriage. Such wrongdoings are deemed "grounds for divorce", a term I'm sure you've heard. They include physical or mental abuse, desertion, adultery, confinement in prison, physical incapacity and incurable insanity. If the defending spouse didn't want the divorce, all he or she had to do was deny what they were being accused of and appear in court to defend themselves.

Many states still allow fault divorces but they all also allow no-fault divorces. No-fault divorces are divorces in which no one is at fault for the failure of the marriage. Even if there was misconduct, it wouldn't matter in a no-fault divorce. Most lawyers would dispute these divorces in court by citing the union may simply be "irreconcilable differences." There doesn't even have to be any explanation or proof of a problem. In most states, the lack of consent of the other spouse won't even hold up as just cause to keep the divorce from being finalized.

But "fault" and "no fault" divorces aren't the only kind of divorce. They are simply the most common. There is also contested versus uncontested. A divorce is uncontested if one spouse refuses to respond to the spouse's request for divorce and/or that spouse's divorce terms which include alimony, child support, the payment of joint debts, and the division of marital property. The divorce can also be deemed uncontested if both spouses agree on every detail, which by the way rarely happens. When the agreements cannot be reached the case is considered a contested divorce and the couple

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