by Joyce Menyasz

Created on: December 31, 2008

The Power of my Handbag

My husband Peter and I went out of town this past weekend. We had a couple of stressful moments when I gave our last twenty dollars (cash) to our neighbor for pet-sitting while we were gone. Peter doesn't like to travel without cash, and if-he'd-only-known-he-would've-got-cash-beforemy counter was what's-the-big-deal-we-have-an-ATM-card-right? My apologies to the male species. I had no idea carrying cash was so important to a man.

However, it turns out there was enough spare change in Peter's pockets and the various cubbies in the car to fuel Peter's brain for driving in the form of a Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino. But there was only enough for him. I said no purely on principle, after it all, it was all my fault that Peter had no cash in his wallet, right? Yeah, he felt bad. But my pique had left me hungry and thirsty too.

When we arrive at the hotel after a four-hour drive, it's dark. I'm pretty sure I've just dropped my dark brown leather glove on the pitch black parking lot before we'd entered the hotel, but of course don't notice until we're up in our room.

"Anyone got a flashlight?" I ask this of my husband and the concierge. No flashlight. What do they do in emergencies, in a hotel, light a candle? Maybe they'll let me set a bottle of shampoo on fire for light out in the dark parking lot. Darn. I really liked those gloves, too.

In the hotel room, I set about organizing my things. I begin to clean out my gen-u-ine counterfeit Chloe Betty handbag. I pull out trash, receipts, anything that I don't want cluttering my perfectly organized purse.

But wait? What's this? Change? Of course! What woman doesn't have change at the bottom of her purse? I pull out $8.57.imagine that. $8.57 that could've landed me an Iced Cap about 300 kilometers ago. I proudly put the change in front of Peter. "Here you go, honey. Take my money and buy yourself something pretty." I'm such a good martyr.

As I root around in the vast caverns of my bag, my hand slides around something cool and smooth. I pull it out. Well I'll be.it's a flashlight! I laugh myself silly over this one. This has been in my bag since early October when we went on a night zoo safari. Excellent. Now I can go look for my glove like a professional!

And that's when it hits me. A properly packed handbag can help a woman out in many situations. Here's what I found in mine, and how I will classify each item for future MacGyver or Mission Impossible purposes

Antibacterial hand gel: Combats bird flu, mad cow disease, malaria, West Nile virus and general smarminess in icky people.
Cell Phone & PDA: To keep up to date on important missions
Halloween jewelry: To go into deep disguise at a moment's notice
Breath Spray: Sweet breath when gossipinger.networking is crucial
Business cards: To secure future missions
Memo pad & pens: Used to leave notes, hints, clues, and to throw the bad guys off the hunt.
Make up, dental floss, gum, hand cream: Come on, a girl on a mission has to look her best
Tide Pen: NEVER leave home without it. Go from a disguised bum to a pristine nun in record, spot-killing time
Atomic Fireballs: A seriously hot cinnamon candy that can act as a flame thrower at a moment's notice.
My handbag is full of mysterious powers that delight and amaze. Ladies, if you plan correctly, you could have an all-magical handbag yourself. And you'll never have to ask a man for a flashlight again.

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