by Marcus Brooks

Created on: December 31, 2008

A month ago, I took some time for reflection. I thought about my dating history. I remembered a few, long relationships. They were off and on. I always hated that term. Being "on" meant we were together. Being "off" meant she was with her ex. One relationship changed my perspective of women. I stopped being so damn gullible.

In 1999, I met a special education teacher. She came to the Benningan's restaurant I served at. It was a fall afternoon. She and another teacher enjoyed their time at Happy Hour. I made it a practice never to flirt with female customers. However, she showed her interest in me first. And, I reciprocated.

She and her friend spent two hours. They drank three rounds. I bought the last one. The woman who caught my eye was named Kel. She passed her number to me on a drink napkin. I drove home and called her. At the time, I lived in a house on the southside. She stayed in Urbandale. By 10 pm, Kel was in my room. She left the next morning.

Our special night began an intense, three-month relationship. We saw each other around 4 to 5 five times a week. But, it was mostly me working a 10-hour shift, going home to wash up and then driving back to Urbandale. I began to take issue with Kel not staying the night at my house. However, everything changed when she visited family in Chicago.

She came back with a different attitude. I couldn't do enough to satisfy her. She was upset with my long work hours. Being a teacher, her schedule was 7:30 am to 4 pm. Our "sexy time" lessened week after week. For six months, we slept together only twice. I asked Kel repeatedly when happened. She said "family stuff". She got umbrage to her sister-in-law. Apparently, "the bitch" (she referred to her as) was taking advantage of her brother, Matt. Kel also hated being treated as the "black sheep" of her family. I also dealt with her lack of trust mentality.

She confessed to me that a boyfriend of four years just left her. One day, she came from work and found her house key in an envelope. After a four-year relationship, her ex ran away, changed his number and moved out of state. His name was Willie; Willie Nilly. She constantly accused me of cheating. I found that funny since I never went anywhere.

Our relationship was so one-sided. I put 80%. She put in 20%. Later on, she excelled in her teaching job. She took off for weeks during the summer to Indianapolis, Washington, D.C. Cedar Falls (Iowa) and Boston. It got so bad that the first 90 days we had more sex than the last 21 months together. But, the biggest turnoff occurred on Christmas 2002.

Kel was a 5'6" 220 pound woman. She was always tan. She stayed athletic. I loved every inch of her; except when she got mad. We had some disputes. But, I never forgot birthdays or Christmas. I brought her over an outfit from Younkers, flowers and a box of Stam chocolates. She gave me a look of complete disdain. She also cursed me out. That night ended it. I left the presents on the floor to an unappreciative lover.

Her mannerisms spelled C-H-E-A-T-E-R. I told my best friend all of the details. She reassured me that I wasn't crazy. Someone who got dumped like Kel did just used me. She probably cheated on me on the trips. She probably cheated on me in Chicago. She definitely cheated on me while here. I never needed to call "Cheaters" to validate my claim. I just trusted my instincts.

After two years of relationship "therapy", I decided to retire my practice. (sarcasm)

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