by Crystal Raen

Created on: December 31, 2008

Children shouldn't be relying on birthday parties to feel important. The parents should be enforcing that fact into every single day, whether it is through praise for a good job, or through trusting your child with the responsibilities that they are growing into and are now able to take care of. The fact of the matter is that some children don't even like birthday parties, they may be shy or only have a few select friends. But of course you don't want to forget your child's birthday, and you probably do (and I think should) want to do something to make them feel EXTRA special on this day. But this doesn't have to translate into a party.

Your child's birthday should be about what they want (within reason of course) Discuss with them how they would want to spend their birthday, perhaps they just want to have a sleepover with their best friend and go to the movies and do a few special things. Maybe there is a special event near their birthday they would want to attend (Hannah Montana concert or for younger children one of the big ice skating shows with their favorite cartoon characters)

Or if there is something they've always wanted to do, but you were afraid they would dislike later (i.e. gymnastics, ballet, karate, soccer, etc) you could sign them up for that as a sign that you know they are growing older and are able to decide the things they want to try. A daughter who is entering her teen years might actually enjoy a spa day, something to make her feel grown up and for you to be able to spend some much valued and fleeting quality time with her.

Also if their birthday falls on a weekend and it is a big year like turning 10, 13, or 16 you could take them on a weekend vacation their choice of location (of course you may want to select a few places for them to choose from.) This could be a wonderful thing especially if there is an event taking place that they would like to see, perhaps a car show or fair of some sort in a nearby town.

Now, if a birthday party is what your child desires, then you will want to be sure they have a hand in choosing the theme, games, activities, and foods. Notify other parents ahead of time so that they can get back to you with any food allergies or concerns they have for their own children at the party. As a disastrous party can also play a major role in making a child feel rather unimportant or neglected. They wouldn't want to feel that their friends are angry with them because Jillian had an allergic reaction to the chip dip and was rushed to the hospital, etc.

But overall, just be sure that your child's birthday is a fun event that is made to suit them as an individual. They will feel more important that you noticed the things they like and dislike. Then they know that you value them enough to pay attention on a daily basis.

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