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for great disappointment. Love, in whichever form, increases our expectations of our loved one(s). While relationships of any kind can be thought of as a "social contract", relationship expectations are not explicitly stated. We can also have certain expectations of being in love or of what being loved entails (that may even be unrealistic).

When fundamental expectations are not met in a close relationship, there would be the feeling of hurt and disappointment. For example, you may feel comfortable sharing an aspect of yourself that your friend or partner is unable or unwilling to share. As a result, you may feel hurt or pained by what you feel is a lack of reciprocity in the relationship.

5) The fear factor

When we don't love people, what happens to them is unlikely to affect us. Love hurts because it makes us worry about our loved ones more than average. We may also fear that we would lose them or wonder what we would do without them in our lives. The greater the treasure you possess, the greater your fear of loss may be. Where human treasures are concerned, this is no different. Worrying or being concerned can hurt or be painful- sometimes too much so.

When we love, we extend or give of ourselves. Intimacy- in terms of sharing- makes us more vulnerable. Some might argue that it is loss of love that hurts. However, it is more than the loss of love or the fear of loss that hurts. We are more vulnerable and likely to feel pain, hurt and anger even when we are experiencing true love with a person. What typically happens is that the good times outweigh the hurtful moments. The truth is that loving and being in love can hurt; too much sometimes.

Learn more about this author, Darrell Victor.
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