by Rebecca Vargas

Created on: December 31, 2008

Many of us are overstressed and overworked and even though it may mean taking time from our busy schedules to prepare food or buy gifts, most of us actually look forward to spending time with our families during the holidays. The holidays are all about sharing and learning and having a good time; after all, we finally get to see those relatives we haven't seen in ages and by now we have forgotten what happened during last year's holiday celebration.

Yes, by now we have forgotten the time when Uncle Joe got a few whiskeys in him and started spilling like a torn bag of rice. Ahhh the finger pointing and accusations, and the inevitable announcement of shocking news such as "your father and I are getting a divorce" or "your sister's pregnant by some thug she just met a month ago in an online chatroom." If you've got nothing to hide, you just sit back and watch the novella as it unfolds before you; but if you do have some skeletons in your closet, you prepare to catch the judgmental potato that is being tossed around the table. When it's your turn, you jump into the tornado as it twirls through the house. Sometimes relatives end up getting thrown out of the house and butter knives on the table become potential deadly weapons, but what usually happens is that people spread out and let it go (until next year, when whatever was said will be rehashed).

It is my experience that every family is dysfunctional in some way. Every family is composed of people who have different opinions and personalities; and every family is faced with many different issues at any given time. Your family is supposed to guide you and help you, and tell you the truth when no else will, so you can't expect to agree all the time. However, you can decide to learn from the mistakes of others, to take criticism constructively and to live honestly (or secretly) so that your dirty laundry isn't aired out in a relative's drunken monologue.

Don't let the potential for family drama stop you from enjoying the holidays with your family. Remember that they ultimately have your best interest at heart and are happy to be sharing the holidays with you. So what if they don't agree with your cheek piercing? And who cares if your cousin is a cross dresser on the weekends? The important thing is that you can't choose your family so you have to make the best of what you've got. Besides, wouldn't you rather be part of colorful holiday events where each year you learn things you didn't want to know about your relatives?

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