by Elizabeth Rogers

Created on: December 30, 2008   Last Updated: January 19, 2009

In determining the reasons behind the judgement of gays and lesbians, it is helpful to take into account that generally what is meant by judging is the holding of opinions other than what are desired by the group of people or individuals at hand. In our country, gays and lesbians are very determined to have judgements made concerning themselves, their lifestyles and concerns, as long as the decisions are the ones that they are hoping for. So it is with everyone. We all want to be judged in the light we wish to be seen in, and have the advantages that would be ours if that happened. We do not appreciate having others make assumptions about us that we do not hold to be true of ourselves; we do not appreciate having others take a stand of disapproval concerning our beliefs, especially when that comes from a point of arrogance, and we do not appreciate being shunned or having our opinions disregarded in the light of a prevailing point of view. Welcome to humanity. Only in the animal kingdom do creatures act without reasoning judgements in order to create and maintain a society of law, order and goodwill toward all.

This issue has been so mauled that it is difficult to say much and have it taken as anything other than fodder for heated debate and disorder, especially if one's concerns are not based on prejudice, but rather on a caring hope for well-lived lives. There is much discussion about whether gays and lesbians are born as such, if they choose this outright, or are heavily influenced by life occurances. Many lesbians, especially, will speak of harmful relationships with men as a foundational reason for their choice to have a same-sex union. Men will often tell of overbearing mothers, harsh or absentee fathers, or sexual exploitation. In that light, some who do not support the gay lifestyle do not consider it a negative judgment to want the root issues dealt with instead of attempting to make a patchwork fix-the-look-of-it-and-call-it-good society. Are all who do not agree with a gay lifestyle judgemental against people? Are doctors who seek to find cures judgemental when they look for causes to an illness? Is a psycologist judgemental when he/she concludes that a person's mental state is the result of harmful experience and works to help with the cure?

There are very harmful results to some sexual practices. A gay friend of my daughter confided in her that he has to wear Depends because his rectal muscles are not strong enough to function properly. Epidemic disease is on the rise and it is the result of promiscuous sexual behavior. Teen pregnancy is prevalent which also has skyrocked the number of abortions and the resulting issues. Is it judgemental to suggest that the sexual revolution has had some negative consequences?

I do not believe that the core of this issue, for the most part, is about a lack of compassion for people or prejudice against those who are different. I believe that this issue is tied more tightly to the way we live in an overly sexualized society than it is to individuals desiring loving companionship and reliable relationships. People of the same sex have lived together for centuries for a variety of reasons and what went on in private was not put up for public grab and debate. Defining oneself as gay or lesbian is to put on a sexual lable and invite others into a debate over what should be done about it. Some people simply do not think that this is the best way to build a marriage, family or a society. Some people, obviously, feel that it is right enough to put on the line and fight for. Both sides make judgements about the issues.

Wouldn't it be nice if people could be kind to each other while the judgements and laws are being made?

Learn more about this author, Elizabeth Rogers.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.