by Trenna Sue Hiler

Created on: December 30, 2008   Last Updated: November 18, 2011

A marriage is more than a set of vows, it is a legal union. There are some rights that are deemed by laws that come with the state of marriage. These should be honored and respected. They are an important part of the marriage.

The emotional and spiritual promises are ones that hold most value for most couples and yet seem to be the hardest to keep intact. Both parties in a marital relationship deserve to work together for the benefit  of the individual and the couple.

Ideally a marital relationship is based on loving each other. This article is written with that in mind. There are simply some things you deserve because you committed to a loving relationship.

You deserve respect.
Many times you’ve heard that respect has to be earned. You earned each others’ respect before the marriage. Now it is just a matter of honoring and reminding each other to be respectful.

You deserve honesty.
This is not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes honesty hurts. It can be simple little things that cause issues. Don’t ask questions that do no really matter and an honest answer may be hurtful.
“Do you like my new hat?”
“Monte is a good friend, you like him don’t you?”
However, once the question has been asked both parties deserve honesty. Lies can only grow into bigger lies.

You deserve forgiveness.
No one is perfect. Everyone is going to make mistakes. There are going to be some hurt feelings and sometimes even harsh words. Forgiveness should be quick, sincere and practiced often.

You deserve friendship.
A spouse needs to be a friend. There needs to be enough friendship the couple can play and work together. A life time is long time and a good friendship  is what holds a marriage together into those golden years.

You deserve equality.
Marriage is a true partnership. No one has all the power. No one makes all the decisions. Everyone has an equal vote.

You deserve personal privacy
Secrets are not good, but personal privacy is another issue. If there is a journal, don't read it unless the spouse has asked you to do so. Alone and personal time help make together time more enjoyable. Knock on closed doors, it is just polite.

You deserve the benefit of the doubt.
If questions arise give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Trust is important and keep as long as it is feasible. Ask questions instead of making accusations. Assume the best and when you find out different practice restraint.

You deserve to be free from violence.
Period.

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