by Susan J. Campbell

Created on: December 30, 2008

The "talk" is something that most parents dread when it comes time to sit down with a child and explain the facts of life. The problem is that parents too often assume that having just one "talk" is all that is necessary and once they have that out of the way, they are in the clear. Unfortunately, this type of thinking leads to an unhealthy approach to sex and teen pregnancy.

Whether we want to hear it or not, the best method for parents in approaching the topic of sex with their teen son is to get outside of their comfort zone and understand that talking about sex is something that should be an ongoing dialogue, not a one-time slam dunk. Most importantly, it cannot be seen as an obligation that must be done as quickly and painlessly as possible. Remember that saying that anything worth doing is not easy?

While it can be awkward at the beginning, talking to your teen son about sex will get better over time. Here are a few steps that can make the process a bit easier to handle, while ensuring that you make it an ongoing dialogue.

1. Build a rapport with your son that allows for easy conversation. Not all interactions have to involve serious topics. Be sure to talk about a variety of subjects and demonstrate that you seek and respect his opinion. Taking this approach will make him much more accessible on the tricky topics and he will find that he respects what you have to say.

2. Find activities that you can do together that allow for a free flow of conversation without demanding that you face each other while talking. Something as basic as riding to the store in the car can present the perfect opportunity as neither one of you must look at the other and the exchange will flow more freely for both of you. This is not to say it will be completely comfortable, but it will take the edge off.

3. Be consistent and practice what you preach. I cannot stress enough how important it is to consistently have these conversations and demonstrate that you practice the same rules. Not only will it send the exact message to your son that you are trying to convey, it will also build that rapport between the two of you where he will care about what you would think and what you would say if he made the wrong choice.

Earning the respect of your teen can be a challenge and in reality, it must start long before he is ever in his teen years. Once he is, make the conversations about sex a priority as long as he is in your home or at least under your parenting. And, while it can produce a few minutes of discomfort between the two of you, it is better than a lifetime of regret over an avoidable action.

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