by Tiffany Kjell

Created on: December 30, 2008

Both of my parents are alive. I personally have not experience the death of one of my parents. I have experienced what it's like to watch someone you know go through such a thing. The loss isn't only with the person who's parent has passed, it's also with those around them. I learned this when my own mother lost her mother not too long ago. It was traumatic for everyone involved.

My grandmother was sick for a while before her illness finally destroyed her. I saw the way my aunts would argue over the best course of action. My mother lost her job with the constant need to drive hours away to help take care of my grandmother.

I always knew my grandmother as a strong willed and blunt woman. She was very kind and I could see the way that everyone felt at seeing her suffer like this. It was stressful in every possible way.

Not only was my mother and my aunts having to deal with the loss of their mother, they were also having to give up valuable time in her care while she was still with us. Their jobs and income were affected by it. They were faced with very difficult choices. Should they spend whatever time was left with their mother or work to put food on the table? Nobody should be forced to make that decision.

I could see the stress it was causing at my own home when my mother wasn't gone caring for my grandmother. I could hear her tone when she argued on the phone with her sisters on the best way to handle the situation. I saw the blame that was placed on the doctors and the other care providers for my grandmother and the anger that my own mother felt towards her sisters at times.

The entire ordeal seemed to be nothing but a long period of painful emotions felt over and over again until finally there seemed to be no more emotion left in anyone. And that seemed to be the time that my grandmother could no longer hold on. I know that I miss her and I know that my aunts and my own mother miss her dearly.

Much was learned from this experience by everyone. But these aren't lessons people want to ever learn. I'm not honestly sure how I'll handle it when I'm presented with this situation. I only hope that I can learn from my mother and my aunts when they were forced to deal with this and try my very best to remember that in the end, family is what matters and all I can do is be with them while I have the chance. I hope that my brother and I will become closer instead of letting this hurt our relationship as my aunts and mother have seemed to let happen. Strength can be gained from pain, it takes will power, but it can be done. That's all I could hope to learn from this.

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