Most people think that cats are lazy, self-centered, and well, lazy. To be honest with you, it's true. Every bit of it. We do only care about ourselves. We only need someone when we want food, water, or a nice head to sleep on. Yes, I said head. I enjoy snuggling up to the little bratty two year old that constantly chases me during the day and pulls my tail and smacks my butt but I take it.
I have also been locked in cabinets, closets, bedrooms, bathrooms, anywhere a child can possibly fit my fat rump. I know that mom will always find me and let me out or stop the unnecessary roughness brought on by the kids. It's okay. It's not a bad life.
Here recently my wonderful family that likes to tease me and rough me up from time to time got a dog. That's right. A dog. I must admit that I hated this thing at first. He's long, annoying, anally d likes to smell things a lot. Not only that but what really bites my butt is the fact that he has something that I don't; a name. I hear the family refer to him as 'Jack' while I am merely 'Caddy'. This is ok, too. I have often heard the mom explain that it is because the kids could say 'Caddy' easier than some other cheesy names at the time.
My family is wonderful and I enjoy living with them but there are times when I absolutely have to leave the house and when I do, I like to stay out for hours on end. But I must admit that there is one family member that I just do not like. Dad. No, he's never been mean to me or anything. He just has a scent that says 'I'm not good with animals so I tend to try extra hard and it's annoying'. He does try really hard and I admire that but seriously, playing with me does not have to involve you chasing me down the dark hallway and then laughing when I jump high in the air because you scared the bejeezus out of me. I could live without that part of it.
When it comes to catching the mice and other rodents, I do my job. You better believe it. I once caught almost ten mice in one night. Yep. It's true. My owners were so happy and thrilled. I must admit that I was quite proud of myself as well but I'm sure you have already guessed that I was, since cats are also quite vain. But we recently moved into a new house, a much bigger house. There have not been any mice in this one yet but when there is, I'll be here to catch them and take them all down. Although the new dog likes to catch little rodents too.
I am actually quite fond of Jack now, did I tell you? Yeah, we like to go outside and play together. I'll hide in the tall grass and watch as he walks by. I will usually jump out and wrap myself around him and of course he will bite and growl but he cannot get away. When the smelly dog is unavailable to play, I'll watch for the youngest child to come running outside. I like to knock her down every once in a while too. The parents think it is really funny and I enjoy doing it. She deserves it from time to time.
I am also very picky about where I go to the bathroom and how my food and water is kept up. The mom has my food and water dish right by my pooper. Very convenient but yet very stupid. You see, when I use the pooper I like to dig and when I dig, I throw stuff everywhere, paying no mind to the mess I'm making. Yeah, we're bad about that too. The litter will sometimes get into my food dish and mix in with it, then I will not eat it until it is clean again. I have noticed that the youngest brat likes to come into my potty space and play in it. She likes to dig her hands into the litter, as if playing in a sand box. Except my box does not have any good surprises, I'll assure you.
The mom knows the difference between my mess and the kids mess. Every time the brat sis caught, she gets a 'spanking' and runs away crying like the baby she is. I'm always gone when mom finds my mess so I do not get into much trouble with that.
Yeah, this is the life of a cat. This is my life. Lazy and inconsiderate. That's me. I make messes then I refuse to help clean. I refuse to go to the doctor, even if my leg is broken although I am thankful that the dad took me to the vet to get my hip fixed when that pack of stray mutts attacked me on my own front porch. I was pissed but could do nothing about it. It was either go to the doctor or be put down. My family loves me enough to fork out hundreds of dollars on me. They may let the brats pull my hair, hide me in closets, chase me, carry me around wherever they choose, but they do love me.
And I could not ask for anything better. Don't tell anyone that I actually had one unselfish moment. It would ruin my reputation.