by Bartlett Meeks

Created on: December 29, 2008   Last Updated: December 30, 2008

It's that time of year, again. The end of the year holiday season bears down on us like a drunken Santa driving his sleigh into your home destroying your calm, and we can do nothing but sit back and sigh "why me?". Well, I say bring it on, fatman!

There is this idea that it is tough being single. It is also being tough being in a relationship, it's just a different type of tough. To make it through this oh so social season, it's all a matter of finding the blessings in your current situation. You will have friends and family who are in various forms of relationships, and they will look at you like you are some kind of misfit toy because you are not in a relationship. Bear in mind that that is their opinion, and it does not have to be yours. Loneliness does not mean "single" and vice versa. There are people in relationships that feel lonely this time of year, so even though you feel lonely, know that you are not alone. Now is a great time of year to reconnect with old frinds and family that are no longer nearby. A quick card, phone call or e-mail to an old friend you've not seen in a while can do you a world of good. Start up or take the time to upkeep your blog and let friends know about it. A single person relies heavily on their nonromantic relationships, and now is a good time to reconnect with people you've not been in contact with. That reconnect can mean a lot, and reinforces that you are not alone.

This time of year tends to exacerbate feelings of loneliness, perhaps because there is such an emphasis on the social. There are always parties, gatherings, concerts, walks and events going on about this season. You cannot hide from it. Trust me, I've tried. Do not feel as if you "have" to show up at every event. "Me time" is a very real and valuable thing, and one of the biggest perks of being single. Spend a night in, curl up with a good book or movie, and lounge around in your ratty but comfy PJs. It takes a surprising amount of confidence to say to a friend "Thanks for the invite, but I'm going to stay in for once." As the ancient Greeks said, "Know thyself." A night or two of serious introspection can do you more good than a hundred drunken Christmas parties.

You can't be a shut in all season. Introspection is great, hiding or burying your problems is not. Hibernating is for bears. This is the end of one year, and the start of the next. This is the time to reinvent and realize. Look back on the past and make plans for next year. What can you do to make next year better than the last? Bear in mind that a lot of people will be doing this, so it should be easier to bounce some new ideas off of friends and relatives. Get the input of your peers. Talking about change is the first step in making change real.

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