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you're older."

So Bobby goes back to school and tells little Dustin, "Dustin, my mom doesn't want to tell me how old she is or how much she weighs. She doesn't answer any of my questions!" Little Dustin replied, "You should go into her wallet and look at her driver's license. All your questions will be answered."

So Bobby goes back home and looks into his mom's purse and looks at her driver's license. Then Bobby smugly said to his mom, "Mom, you're 39 years old." His mother replied, "Yeah, that's right I am."

"And you weigh 142 lbs." Bobby continued. "Yupp that's right," his mother replied.

"One last thing. I know why dad left us." Bobby's mom said, "Oh really, and why is that?" Little Bobby replied, "Because you got an F in sex."
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It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is MAD that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is BOILING mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?!?!"

Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"
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A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."
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In the traffic court of a large Midwestern city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket

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