The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"

"Sure, " replied her lover "What's your phone number?"
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A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the other's behavior.

When his wife returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then casually asked her about the specific behavior of the passenger he knew to be his mistress.

"She slept with nearly every man on the ship," his wife reported.

The disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to ask her the same questions about his wife.

"She was a real lady," his mistress said.

"How so?" the encouraged man asked.

"She came on board with her husband and never left his side."
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A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers. The woman asks, " Who is this?"

"This is the maid," answered the woman.

"We don't have a maid," said the woman. The maid says, "I was hired this morning by the man of the house.

The woman says, "Well, this is his wife. Is he there?" The maid replied, "He is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was his wife."

The woman is fuming. She says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" The maid asks, "What will I have to do?"

The woman tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the witch he's with."

The maid puts the phone down; the woman hears footsteps and the gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"

The woman says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."

Puzzled, the maid answers, "But there is no pool here."

After a long pause, the woman says, "Is this 555-555-4321?"
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A little boy named, Bobby asked his mother one day, "Mom, how old are you?" His mom said, "Now, now, Bobby. That's a personal question. You don't ask those kinds of personal questions to women."

Then Bobby proceeded to ask, "How much do you weigh?" HIs mother replied, "You're too young to understand that, and you don't ask those kind of questions of women."

But he still had more questions, "Why did Dad leave us?" His mom answered,

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