by Vanessa Calleja

Created on: December 28, 2008

We are different? Is that the problem? Don't opposites attract?

In my marriage that is definitely the case! Twelve years and running...not always..sometimes lagging and not sure where we were headed.

I love my husband. He is my life. I can't imagine life without him. Having said that...there are some days that I am fit to be tied and don't know why I keep him! If you were to ask him how he feels he would pretty much say the same thing.

My recipe? Pray. Everyday. Pray together. Pray for each other.

Don't judge until you are perfect! Easier said that done, I know. Sometimes I forget the rule. He reminds me. He forgets the rule. I remind him.

Appreciate their "habits." While some of his "habits" tick me off to no end. They make life interesting. If he was predictable I would be unhappy. I guarantee it.

Try to look through their eye. I try to see things from his perspective, especially when he has done something that just makes no sense to me at all.

Think before you speak. Hard sometimes, I know. If you speak too soon and without all of the information you may say something you will regret. It is much harder to put words back in your mouth! Especially if your foot is in it!

Don't go to bed angry. I have done this and regretted it. If you are fighting and you just go off to bed, the fight might "end." But in your subconscious you are still fighting.

Forgive. Everyone makes mistakes. We are all human. We are not perfect. However, I believe that there are few things that cannot be talked about, worked out and forgiveness is given. When we don't forgive, we are the ones who suffer. Not the one you have refused to forgive.

Acceptance. The sooner you accept that the two of your are different the easier things will become. I am not saying that you have to do things their way or do what they do. However, do you really think that you do everything right? There has to be one area in your life where you may not be as strong. What if your spouse didn't accept you?

No conflicts mean someone is not being honest! If you go through your entire marriage without having a scuffle, someone is not being themselves. I am not encouraging the fighting. But if you have an opinion and you aren't sharing it to avoid trouble you are not being honest with yourself or your spouse.

You need to learn to accept yourself. Your faults. You have to get to know yourself and love yourself before you can truly love anyone else.

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