by Lorraine Messineo

Created on: December 28, 2008

I have always been a Christian, I suppose, because I do believe that Jesus Christ is my Savior. Until just recently, however, I did not attend church for nearly 20 years and even refused to admit that I was a Christian. Why? Not because I was denying Christ. I very deeply and passionately believe.

The reason I removed myself from that association is because I have found it to be largely hypocritical. Christian values, as far as I know are tolerance, charity and forgiveness at the very minimum. In my experience, however, most Christians don't live very Christian lives. Their moral values reflect the intolerance, condemnation, bigotry and violence portrayed in the Old Testament. I have, quite frankly, experienced more charity, tolerance and forgiveness from individuals who claimed to be Atheists than I have from those claiming to be Christians. I have also reaped more blessings from giving a dollar to a homeless person or helping a neighbor in need than I ever did from dropping a twenty in the collection plate on Sundays.

My life actually improved greatly after I stopped attending church. I didn't get rich-at least not materially-but not only did I feel closer to God, I felt that He got closer to me. I pray, not excessively, but almost every night. I pray when I feel stressed or frightened. I have been angry with God and expressed that anger and yet He is still there for me.

I have experienced miracles both large and small, have felt the presence of angels. My life has been much fuller and happier life since removing myself from the hypocracy of organized religion. When I lived in Alaska I was besieged daily by roaming Christians carrying their religious tracts and trying to save my soul. The fate of my soul is my concern-not anyone else's. I have ensured my place in the Kingdom through my belief in Christ and by seeking God's forgiveness when I have done wrong.

Jesus never harassed anyone into believing in Him or God. He showed people the path, but let them choose whether they would follow it or not. I will not force anyone I have helped to pray with me. I would not say to a homeless person "Don't spend that money on booze." Instead, as I give them a few dollars I say a silent prayer that they will use it for food or a warm blanket or diapers for their baby. I speak with them, but not about God or the saving love of Jesus or the state of their souls but about their problems and how they came to be where they are. If there is something I can do to help them, I try

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