by Elizabeth for XquisitLife

Created on: December 27, 2008

Have you ever noticed that the older you get, the faster time seems to fly by? Birthdays come quicker, and Lord knows it was just Summer and now I have taken out my winter clothes and prepared for the holidays once again! Time doesn't stand still for anyone, no matter who you are, or how badly you just need a minute to breathe. Then the next thing you know, you look up and all of the sudden you look back to when you were in High School and its been just about 20 years since you've graduated! Where did the time go anyway?

Twenty years is a long time! It seems even longer when you have spent that amount of time harboring feelings and memories of the past. What if your life has been secretly filled with unforgiveness, and you have been living a wretched, bitter life pointing your finger in blame at another person for what they did to you and how they have hurt you? Most often we feel justified in that blame and hold others totally responsible for the reason that we are the way we are today.

For 20 years I blamed my life's problems on my father, because he abused me, and because of the choices that I went on to make as a result of the abuse. I spent 20 years being imprisoned by unforgiveness, and bitterness that had enveloped my whole entire being. Every choice that I went on to make in my life became stained as result of classifying myself as a victim.

I have lived a complicated life full of ups and downs that were vastly out of my control as a little girl. My entire life was something of a roller coaster ride, but even when the ride would appear to slow down at times throughout my life, the ride never seemed to come to an end. Then it was like new tracks were being continually added to this coaster in my life as I faced new and unexpected twists and turns that threw me in a direction that I was never prepared for!

I found myself waiting for the ride to come to an end so that I could get off, but much to my surprise each time I passed the unloading area of the coaster, I realized I was trapped on a ride that perpetually rode on! Once again hearing the click, click, click of that old track beneath me, I knew I would soon be nearing the top of that monstrous hill all over again.

I anticipated the brief pause at the top of the coaster where for a moment the rider can see for miles around and in every direction because everything at that moment appears to be very clear! It was there that I would get a chance to see where to go from there, and know where to go once the

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