by Ruth Amezquita

Created on: December 27, 2008   Last Updated: June 01, 2011

Many thoughts come to mind when I often think about my marriage. At times I found myself asking the same question over and over, "Did i marry the right person?" Is this marriage going any where?

Why is it that many women wonder whether they are doing the right thing in their marriage or not. Many times they feel like the world is turning up side down instead because all they see is what they have learned that is right.

They way many women think and react to different situations in their marriage has a lot to do with their upbringings. I remember a friend of mine in college who used to think that by letting her husband abuse her verbally, she was being a "Good" wife. I confronted her one day and asked her why she thought that way and she explained; "My mother told me when I was little that the husband, as the man of the house, has to teach me submission even if he has to hurt me with his words".

Now, I can understand that at times you might think to yourself and say that a loving and respectful wife has to practice submission, but what exactly is submission? does it mean that you have to let someone else that you supposedly love and that supposedly loves you, hurt you or mistreat you? worst, does it mean that you must stay in this marriage that you know for a fact is going nowhere?

We, as intelligent, understanding but often unappreciated, women actually have something powerful inside us that tells us when something is gone wrong. Many call it intuition, i prefer to call it a gift. We know when our children are doing well in school, we know when they are hanging out with the wrong crowd and even when they sleep on the wrong side of the bed.

Why is it though, that when it comes to ourselves and our marriages we ignore the warning signs and our hearts? How many times do we get this chest palpitation when we wonder if we'll ever be free. Free of feeling trapped, free of feeling like we're going nowhere, free to be free.

No woman should feel trapped in her marriage. When you live a happy life and you know where you're going the word trap does not come to mind. Should women feel trapped into staying in marriages that don't work? I believe the answer is simple; Where there's a trap, there is no marriage, and when we have to question our marriage, is because it is not working.

No honest woman should feel trapped into staying in a marriage that she knows in her heart it is not working out. A lot of our decisions are made based in what we think is right and not what we really want because most of our lives we where told what to do and not to do and we grew up trying to meet the criteria of those who advised us.

I am not implying in any way that our parents did not know how to advice us. I am a parent my self and I try very hard to do and say what I think is best for my children but even though l treasure all that my own parents taught me I still try to make my own decisions according to what I know now, for my self and my own world.

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