If I had one more day with my dad, I would want that day to be a warm summers day with a gentle breeze blowing and he and I sitting on the old porch glider with him sharing his infinate wisdom with me once again. We have spent many lazy summer days sitting on that old green glider with dad sharing with me the secret to happiness, the wisdom of the world, the secrets of men, and how to be happy in this world. I would simply wish for one more day to sit with him and ask him just a few more questions.
One of the first questions I would ask him would be 'why did God or what ever greater power there is decide to take you away from me when I was only 18 and my life was just beginning?' I'm sure my father would have the same answer for me now that he gave me so many years ago when he informed me that he may not live very long after my high school graduation. As he said then "I have taught you all I could in such a short period of time and God does know, as I do, that you can go on without me now and it is time for you to do just that." Well, dad, I wasn't ready yet in spite of what you and God thought. I still have so many moments every day when I think 'dad, what should I do? What would you do? I don't know how to fix this problem and I wish you were here to help.' Knowing my dad though, he would simply smile and say "but you figured it out by yourself, just like I knew you would. So you really didn't need me after all did you?" And, as always, he would be correct.
The next question I would ask him would be if he were proud of my son. I would hope he would be and I think he would be but I would love to hear it from his own voice. My son is a lot like my dad and the two never even met. I would then ask him if he had any words of wisdom to pass onto his grandson that I had forgotten to pass along. I'm sure he would have a lot to say and I would listen as intently then as I did every day I shared our talking time in the past with my dad.
I would then ask him why my daughter had her car accident that left her with brain damage and what I could have done to make her life better. I know he would have the answers to that question because dad knew everything. I know he could tell me even now what to do to make life better again.
Knowing that dad's time on this earth with me was cut so short, I would have to ask my father if he were happy with the way I grew up, raised my kids and lived my life. I would have to ask him if he were happy with me as his daughter. Now, like all dads, I'm sure he would say he was happy with me but he would also tell me things I could have done differently or maybe better than what I did do.
After those basic questions were done, I would ask dad what else he would like to tell me to help me get through my middle and older years and to help make me a better person. Then I would just sit back and listen to the words my father said, the sound of his voice, and look into his big blue eyes as awestruck as if I were a three year old child on Christmas morning once again. Dad's words of wisdom always led me down the right path in life. From religious teachings to friendships, from broken hearts to wild passionate love, dad always knew about all of it and would teach me more about life in a few minutes than I would learn in a lifetime myself. I would spend that day listening to every word my father said just as I had all those years ago when we shared our Saturday afternoons discussing the secrets of the universe.
Then as the sun begins to slip towards the horizon hinting at the end of the day, I would talk to my dad. I would thank him for teaching me how to be a good person. I would thank him for all he taught me about being a parent in the short period of time he was with me. I would thank him for our family vacations, our trips to the beach, for showing me how to be happy laying in the grass watching the clouds fly by, and for him telling me about the family before me I never knew. I would thank him for his many words of wisdom, for teaching me patience and understanding instead of anger and hatred. I would let him know of the many times his words were still heard in my head as if he were standing right beside me. I would tell him of the main secret to life he taught me, the idea of learning be happy with what you have instead of working yourself to death to keep up with the people next door. I would tell him that I always put my family first before any job or any thing else in this world just as he always taught me to do and he had done himself. I would let him know that his few short years were not wasted on me and I took all the information he gave to me and kept it deep in my heart for all of my years on this earth. I would thank him for teaching me all those secrets of life and happiness and let him know that I cherrish them every day, even now. And then I would tell him that I love him as much now as I did the day he died and that I have never forgotten a minute with him.
Before the sun had finally set, I would anwer the question in his special poem he put in my autograph book the day before my high school graduation so many years ago which was "when the sun is setting red, a sign of a good day to come, and the world trouble free, will you ever think of me?" The answer would be "yes dad, I think of of you every day and you are still alive to me because you do still live in my heart. Yes, dad, I remember that too, your reminding me that no one is truly ever gone as long as they live in your heart. You live in my heart now and forever and I love you still. I never forget you and there is never a day that passes which I fail to think of you at least once. You have never truly left me and are always with me deep in my heart."
As the darkness would begin to decend on us, I would once again hug my father, give him a kiss on the cheek, tell him I loved him always and thank him for coming to be with me one more day. I would have tears rolling down my cheeks as I waved to him as he walked off into the darkness but I would be thankful for just that one more day. My heart would be busting with joy and pride and love for my father and that day would be another memory to lock away deeply in my heart. I could go on again and my father would be with me in my heart still.
And once again, the world would be ok and I would be forever greatful because I got to see my dad for one more day.