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Compatible: "Capable of living and performing harmonious, agreeable, or congenial combination with another or others."

Capable: "Having capacity or ability."

Capacity: "The ability to receive, hold, or absorb."

~ taken from "The American Heritage Dictionary. New College Edition" (1969-1976 copyrights)

These definitions are mainly listed for reference. But they can, and should, remind us of what compatibility truly means.

Notice the absence of external variants in the above descriptions. Whether his hair is blonde and hers is red makes no difference; whether he's rich or she's poor - nope, not there; whether he's fat and she's thin aren't mentioned either; nor is the fact that he's sixty years old and she's twenty - or visa versa.

It is my belief that the compatibility features we must seek when entering into a relationship should be internal. And, of course, this takes more than a few dates, a couple of dinners, and one night together to examine.

Years ago - and I mean many years ago - it was easier to recognize if two people were compatible: Most young adults were reared in households that taught certain moral standards and values. We must not assume the same is true with respect to today's domestic teachings. Our current generations are "pot luck" at best.

So, how do we discern what internal attributes someone has?

Communication - communication - communication - is the key. I can't say this enough.

We need to communicate as much as possible. Talk, listen, dig deep, and attempt to determine what our soon-to-be partners are made of. This is no simple task. Men and women do not "speak" the same language. Naturally, it's rather difficult to communicate with one another under these circumstances. We already know that in most cases when she sees red, he sees blue; when she's right, he's wrong; and when he finds humor, she finds distaste. There's rarely a "gray" moment in our relationships: The confrontations and/or perceptions between males and females are usually black and white.

But if we go back to the aforementioned definitions, we see that the main criterion for compatibility is ability: The ability to receive; the ability to be harmonious; and the ability to be congenial.

What triggers our "ability" switch, then? Is it that our mates' mothers can't stand to be in the same room with us, or that our mates' hearts are true? Is it that our mates are rich, or that not one selfish bone exists in their bodies? Is it that our mates' career choices will have us eating peanut

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