by Dan Monaghan

Created on: December 26, 2008

My favorite customer service story, allegedly true, happened when a couple rushed through the doors of a restaurant late one night. Extremely hungry and thankful the place was still open, they inquired as to the closing time. Without missing a beat, the young hostess said, "well, we close at 11 but we start giving dirty looks at 10:30."

Those of us who frequently patronize businesses would not even bat an eyelash at such a statement these days because it fits right in with the current state of customer service. When I enter businesses these days I feel like apologizing for disturbing whatever it is the employees are doing that is clearly more important than waiting on me. In fact, actually waiting on customers these days ranks behind the following work activities: talking on cell phone, talking to co-worker, daydreaming, chewing gum and going on break. Just the other day I had the audacity to ask a clerk a question about a piece of electronic equipment I was thinking of purchasing. The look of revulsion I received for even thinking of disturbing this person would have liquefied granite. I immediately apologized for interrupting his life at that moment. He clearly wasn't accepting my lame attempt to make up for ruining his moment of contemplation. He was, however, very talented in the art of ventriloquism. He managed to mumble a few words about being new and unfamiliar with my product and he was 10 minutes late for his break. He said all this without moving his lips! Such talent! It was clearly only a matter of time before he would leave the mundane world of retail far behind and become a big star. Meanwhile, I was left to my own devices to get my question answered. I left the store.

Restaurants, as we witnessed above, can always be counted on to plunge customer service to previously undiscovered depths. Most employees at food service establishments consider their jobs as nothing more than stepping stones to "real jobs", whatever that means. Consequently, finding an employee who cares in your favorite restaurant is as likely as finding George Bush guest hosting on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Once while eating at a local establishment, I noticed my waitress had her thumb on my steak as she set the plate down in front of me. When I inquired as to why she felt the need to pin my sirloin against the plate with her thumb, she cheerily replied, "I was afraid it would fall on the floor again!" She quickly turned and skipped away convinced, I'm sure, that she was indeed the queen of customer service. Her tip reflected otherwise.

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