by Dossie M Terrell

Created on: December 25, 2008   Last Updated: May 14, 2012

The expression "jack of all trades" certainly applies to the role of mother, but the first and foremost skill on the list of motherly attributes is the ability to love unconditional. Do not take it personally if there are times you literally do not like your children. Yes that can happen, but the innate love you've had for them since their birth will win each time and whatever they may have done you will help them seek resolutions and you will go on loving them.

You know it is their actions and not them that you find disappointing. As parents, learn to be true to your feelings and communicate them to your children, because only then will you be able to give the best of yourselves. When they commit acts that are unbecoming, say to them "when you do that, you are not only disappointing me, but you are shortchanging yourself." Be ready to discuss all the ramifications in a calm manner and always keep your arms, as well as your heart, open.

You should always have expectations that allow your children to excel at something as well gain a sense of independence. When I was a teenager, there was the expectation that the boys as well as the girls would wash dishes and keep the house tidy. There was also the expectation that any grade below a "B" was unacceptable. We grew up believing we could excel in our grades and we did. We also grew up knowing we had a role in ensuring the house operated efficiently; however, it took a while to come to that realization especially when house work was weighed against going to a party. We learn early on the power of negotiation and prioritization. Remember a son, as well as a daughter, should be able to take care of their personal needs. Preparing his meals and maintaining his household will not diminish his sexual or masculine prowess with future partners. It is likely they will thank you profusely for your child rearing skills.

Instill in your children a sense of value and self worth. Children who value themselves are not often led astray by the loudest voice in the pack because they will have been taught to assess the situation and discern any long-range impact. They will know they have nothing to prove to any one because they have a sense of their own significance. These are lifelong lessons and ones they will thank you for many times over.

Assist your children in developing a vision for their lives. It does not matter that you as parents may not be where you want to be in life, you should always try to steer your children to bigger

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