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American Idol: The Fairest Competition in the Land

American Idol has been called cruel, vicious, and cutthroat as a competition. Nevertheless, the one accusation that does not stick: American Idol is unfair. American Idol is, for all its flaws, completely and utterly fair.

As a musician and a singer, I have watched the show auditions since Idol's beginning season with unwavering interest. In my mind, American Idol is the closest thing we have to a musical Superbowl. Anyone who sings in front of an audience is on a need-to-watch basis, as much of good singing can be learned from watching bad singing. The American Idol auditions have been a circus freak show of bad singers from Season One. Naturally, Season Six's collection of ragtag wannabes have outdone themselves. They're horrible.

Almost as bad as the girls in my High School once were.

For me, American Idol is a personal vindication. It's justice being served. When I was in High School, the richest girls in school were in Chorus. These cliques of lipstick harpies joined Chorus for popularity and small scale stardom, whereas I joined thinking I would get a chance to sing. I was passed over for solos because of many reasons, one of them extreme performance shyness, but more or less, I feel my vocal talent was ignored mostly because the Chorus director favored the top echelons of the popular clique. Though there were a few great singers, like Julianna, the popular girls invariably chosen for the best vocal solos were tone deaf.

Stone cold tone deaf.

Most contestants who audition for American Idol could not carry a tune if they had a bucket. Much like the girls in my Chorus class, they either:

A. Don't care to address the problem
B. Have no idea that the problem exists

So I love the show. Where you see undeserved cruelty, I see glorious, nepotism-free honesty.

In the Minneapolis auditions, I thought it was a pretty cheap shot to let Jewel "sit in" on the judging. It's obvious that Jewel was invited to threaten Paula's cushy job. The unwritten subtext was that Paula had better clean up her drinking problem or be replaced next year. Jewel is a known drug addict who has gone on stage cursing her fans for booing her poor performances, so it confounds me why they would be so anxious to replace one problem child with another.

JARROD and RACHEL, who were both representing the Armed Forces, were adorable.

JESSE should realize that if most women can't sing Celine Dion, men don't stand a chance.

TASHAWN, who couldn't remember

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