by Rick Wildman

Created on: December 24, 2008

I am considering marrying a foreign woman - and the reasons may surprise you.

I was married to an American woman for eight years; we divorced in 2004. In the following years I dated both local and foreign ladies, and found I had a preference for foreign, especially Asian.

First, the stereotypes, which exist because there is some broad (if shallow) truth in them.

Yes, I love foreign languages and cultures, and enjoy teaching my own. Perhaps as Lily A. Thorns suggested, this is a male trait; in my case, I am a teacher. However, I am not simply improving her skill with English, but also learning her language. I just find that aspect of the relationship fascinating and satisfying.

Yes, Asian (and most foreign) women have a more traditional view of marriage, which appeals to my sensibilities. Here's what I mean by "traditional."

* They are excited about being with a man; they love men for who they are, especially American men, who (typically) are more romantic than their own. In short, they don't enter the relationship with a list of demands.

* They love children and traditional families, and don't mind that you already have kids (as long as you are also williing to have one or more with them). I have custody of my two daughters, and I can assure you that most American women are not interested in a guy with full-time kid duty. They admire what I'm doing, but they don't want to become instant moms - and I understand that. However, it severely limits my romantic potential on my home turf.

* They enjoy playing the traditional gender roles, as long as it's done respectfully and lovingly. They are not trying to be men, or asking to be treated like men. I know this aspect will be frustrating to many American women, but I want to emphasize that I'm not in search of the 1950s. I believe a healthy couple can play the male and female role, and enjoy each other for their differences.

My experience with American women of my age (30s-40s) is that they want to be treated in this odd combination of male and female traits, yet are often derisive of the male gender. Frankly, this is unattractive and insulting. Women and men are different. I am not a metrosexual, and I don't want a woman who needs to lead the dance. I have my roles; she has hers. I'd like to be with someone who would love me for playing mine well, and I would love her the same for playing her role well.

Now as to the American woman stereotypes, which lead me to look abroad:

* They are more interested in themselves than anyone

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