by Ann E. Smith

Created on: December 24, 2008

Dating is a time-honored ritual that can be both exhilarating and painful. A good date can lead to butterflies in the stomach, whereas a bad one can induce cringing.

When dating, be prepared for a bit of an emotional roller coaster. That's half the fun, and half the horror! Whether you are new to dating, or have been at it for a while, you may need a few tips to make the ride a bit smoother.

* Be yourself - but not completely.

The act of dating, or courtship, involves a couple getting to know one another, with a romantic element involved in the equation. A huge part of attracting someone is just be you, as someone is going to be compatible with you as you truly are.

If you put on a front, and act differently than normal, you will be found out eventually. So trying to impress someone with exaggerations or fake behavior will backfire.

Try to just be who you are, but there are some subtle nuances to this rule of thumb. When you first meet someone, it's not time to display some of your odder quirks. It's more time to be on good behavior as you are still making a first impression.

All people have various sides to them, and you can be yourself without acting the way you do around your family members who already accept you just as you are. Use some common sense here.

* Remember to engage in what the other person has to say.

If you go on a date and do all of the talking, and primarily about yourself, then you may not get a second date. While it's natural to want to tell stories about yourself and try to make an impression on someone you are interested in getting to know more, you don't want to go overboard.

Remind yourself that one way to learn more about the other person is to ask questions and encourage that person to talk. Even if you are naturally more extroverted, the other person will still enjoy your attention and interest in what he or she has to say.

* Do not tell your life story.

Rome was not built in one day, nor should a new relationship be established in one date. When disclosing information about yourself, less can be more. Do not make the mistake of disclosing too much too soon. You are on a date, not out for a coffee with your best friend.

* Do not take yourself too seriously.

While dating can be stressful, try as best you can to relax a bit and not take yourself too seriously. People are charmed by those who can laugh at themselves. Part of mastering dating is learning to go with the flow and the awkwardness of it all.

* Take things slowly.

No matter how attracted you are to your date, keep in mind that things need to take a slow course of development, especially in the physical front. If this person is meant for you, then remember that you want the relationship to have meaning, too. Those who get overly involved physically too quickly are acting on impulse, and that could easily hurt the long-term prospects of the relationship.

* Do not kiss and tell.

As challenging as it is, especially for girls, try not to talk too much about a budding romance. It is often a turnoff to guys to find out that girls they are seeing are spilling the beans to their friends.

* Be patient and try not to judge too quickly.

Dating is a balancing act. Try to give someone a chance, without ruling that person out too quickly for something silly. At the same time, be able to draw boundaries for yourself when need be. You should never date someone just because you do not want to hurt their feelings by declining.

In conclusion, dating is one of life's true adventures. Consider it a bit of a job, with some basic guidelines you will follow no matter who you are dating. Using some common sense, and humor, along the way will help you greatly.

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