by G E Barr

Created on: December 24, 2008

NO SHAME AT ALL

There is absolutely no shame in being a virgin. Nothing wrong with it at all. I liked being a virgin, back when I was. Having lived in celibacy for a long time now, I can remember who I was back then. Just as I was becoming a young woman, my life went to the dogs fast. It was as if the Poet went away. Yes, the Poet left me as I descended into the dark madness around me and innocense seemed a million miles away. I suffered a great deal and my self esteem was obliterated, though I retained something. Not sure how to describe it, and so I won't.

At any rate, while I do not think it a good idea to tout virginity and virgins...you know, by parading them on some sick show, let's say, "I'm A Virgin", I think that it is the best way to be, IF that is how you want to be.

Sexuality has so pervaded everything. I mean, it is as if everything must be tinted with sex. Because that is what attracts people's attention. There is an acceptable vulgarity in American society. It is as if people are obsessed with genitals and what they can do. Go to the bakery, you can get a penis cake or a boob cake. Science guys are even gettting in on the action with Viagra and other stimulating action. Go to the movies, and voila, there it is. All the sex you want.

To abstain from sex means that you won't have to worry about pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases which can kill you, people talking about your body and what it looks like and you won't have to contend with the emotional drain.

Being a virgin is not a problem. Being forced or tricked into sex before you are ready is a problem. So, while it is a good thing to be a virgin, it is extremely bad manners to talk about it all the time and openly. Here's why: Not everyone has the emotional maturity to deal with their sadness and their loss and there are alot of young people who are not virgins because they had no choice.

It is like this, if I were an incredibly wealthy woman, I would not shout it on the street corners to the poverty which passed me by. I would not speak of what I owned as my hairdresser washed my hair. I would not want to cultivate envy.

I don't mind telling people that I am celibate if the subject comes up. But I am not a young and tender soul just starting out in the world. I've lived a little. I've had children. I am also a superb actress.

So, there you have it. Be a virgin and when the subject of sex comes up, if everyone in the crowd seems to have done it, just act as though you know what everyone is talking about. "I know what you mean" is a good line.

Nothing can be quite so troubling as naivety. Be your best friend and keep your own secret.

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