by Alexis Mcknight

Created on: December 24, 2008

One of the first things I learned when my daughter, McKenzie, was born 7 months ago, is that parenting never goes how you plan. I read all about labor and swore I would have a natural childbirth - then a surprise breach baby led to an emergency C-section. After having worked with a vast amount of binky loving toddlers, I promised myself that MY child would never need a pacifier. Of course, you rarely see her without the rather odd-looking bright green Soothie. And finally, I knew that I would never, ever allow the baby to sleep in our bed. And almost every morning, there she is, right in the middle! How could this happen?

I first discovered the wonders of holding your baby as I was in the hospital bed. All I wanted to do was sit and look at her, feel her breathe in and out, and hold her little body. The nurses would rush in as soon as I started to doze off, however, and would admonish me for even thinking about falling asleep next to my child. There were huge bars on either side of the bed so she couldn't have fallen out. (Plus, as any mother knows, you stop sleeping deeply while you're pregnant and I just don't think it comes back!) My only thought, although the nurses never took the time to explain, was that they feared I would roll over on the baby and crush her. So my first few nights were spent in a doze, watching her in a little plastic bassinet which seemed so far away.

When we arrived home, I learned that we could nap together. She would lie on my chest and I would relax. It was the greatest way to fall asleep, breathing in the perfect baby smell of her head and watching her snooze. At night, I rested her in the crook of my arm so that she couldn't move far away. She would roll on her side and snuggle against me. That way, I would sleep and she could feel close to me, as well.

I have moved her into her crib for most of the night. She hates to nap and so falls asleep at around 6:30, a little early for me! And of course, I sneak into her room every half hour or so - watch her chest rise and fall, make sure no blankets have tangled around her. But then when she wakes up around 4, it's to the bed for a few hours. To cuddle and lay together as a family, it's perfect.

I know that people have safety concerns about co-sleeping, and I agree that care should be taken. No pillows or fluffly bedding that the child can roll into. And of course, each parent should be sober and un-medicated. And I think that a full night of co-sleeping would probably take a toll on the adult relationship, or at least make it a greater challenge than having an infant already does! But the argument that children will never want their own space doesn't hold water for me. After all, how many teenagers still sleep in their parents bed? Your child is little and cuddly for such a short amount of time that the desire to hold their baby-hood tight is completely understandable.

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