by Marlin Bressi

Created on: December 23, 2008   Last Updated: November 13, 2010

I have spent my share of holidays alone. This can be quite depressing, especially when you flip on the television and see countless commericals of happy couples exchanging gifts in front of a roaring fireplace. Everywhere you turn, you see things that remind you of your loneliness; couples shopping together at the mall, friends talking about their relationships, and holiday movies full of happiness and cheer. When you're single during the holidays, the last thing you want or need is to witness someone else's happiness and cheer. You want happiness of your own.

My strategy is to avoid everything that will remind you of your loneliness. Attending a Christmas party where you are surrounded by other couples is only going to make you feel worse, just like talking to those friends who constantly like to bring up how wonderful their significant other is, without any consideration for your predicament. The holidays are supposed to be happy times, so this means finding things to do that will make you happy. On the bright side, being single, you have no one to answer to and no one to hold you back. This makes the holidays a perfect occasion to make some quality time for yourself.

Begin by buying yourself a Christmas present. You deserve it! Best of all, you know what kind of gift you'd like to recieve. You won't have to worry about getting an ugly sweater or some other unwanted present which you'll have to return or re-gift to someone else. Spoil yourself. Go to the electronics store and buy that hi-definition television you've always wanted, or go get that pair of shoes you've had your eye on for so long. Not only is spending money on yourself fun, it is also symbolic. You are sending a message to yourself that you are worthy of happiness.

Another thing you can do is devote this time of year pursuing your favorite hobby or pasttime. Last Christmas, I decided to spend the day fishing. It was quite enjoyable, having the lake all to myself and not having to worry about other fishermen. Being single, I didn't have to worry about racing all over town visiting people or following a hectic holiday itenerary; I was able to spend the entire day doing nothing but what I love. Few people in relationships have that luxury.

The holidays are also a great time to get ahead in your career. While everyone else is busy playing games and singing songs, you have an opportunity to put your nose to the grindstone and get things done. You can work in peace without the usual distractions, since everyone else will be off in their own little holiday universe. Being productive is essential to happiness. So instead of wasting time doing something useless, like hanging up mistletoe or shopping for fruitcake, you can accomplish something worthwhile.

One trick to ward off the depression of the holiday season is to avoid anything that has to do with Christmas. When a Christmas song comes on the radio, change the station. When a sappy holiday movie comes on television, flip the channel to something else. You don't even have to decorate if you don't want to. Remember; this is America, and you're allowed to be a Scrooge if you want to. There's no law that says you have to put up a tree and string up colorful lights and drink egg nog. If you're not feeling festive, don't force it. The day belongs to you, and you are entitled to spend it however you choose.

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