by Joseph Wardy

Created on: December 21, 2008

I am going to address the title of " How to avoid being irritating" by not assuming what irritating is without first identifying what is irritating to me and then to set a strategy of opposite behavior. Here are two suggestions for you to consider to avoid being irritating:

* Avoid a "know it all attitude". What is irritating about this approach is that by acting in this manner we assume our experiences and behavior is identical or at least similar to other people. Furthermore, people with a"know it all" attitudes are highly opinionated and opinion is biased toward our own prejudices based on personal experiences. Examples: it would be unusual for a wealthy kid to become a liberal ( the Kennedy family excluded ) or a poor kid to be a conservative. So, would can we do in our behavior to avoid a "know it all" approach. First, it is awareness when we are in conversation followed by asking if you can ask a question rather than stating what you think. People with a "know it all" approach don't ask..they tell. Here are a few suggestions: Can I share with you my opinion? If yes, then say something like...I am not claiming to be right but here is how I see it. When working in corporate, I have given my opinion when it was not solicited and it was never and I mean never welcome. Suggestion: Practice the Zen quote stating: " Don't give your opinion unless asked three times". In Western culture, perhaps let's not offer an opinion unless being asked once.

* Avoid using the pronoun "I". Although this is not always possible, a person with an excessive use of 'I" is focusing on their ego through self centered language. According to a study done at Yale University, the most powerful five words are : I am proud of you". The most powerful four words are : " What do you think". The two most powerful words are " Thank You". The most powerful word is " You'. Consider the value of this quote when gettin trapped inot self importance; "Don;t worry about what people are thinking about you because they are not thinking about you". They are thinking about themselves and if you are thinking about them your interpersonal skills will soar. When giving credit, think about coworker who have contributed to success. It is rare when when we succeed without help and collaboration for others. Rather than using I, use the pronoun we.

Hopefully, one of these suggestions will be of value to you!

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