by J. Paxton

Created on: December 21, 2008

My mother ingrained a simple rule in me at a very young age: if a thank you note is not written seven days after receiving a gift, the gift gets returned. As a child, this was one of the most boring, tedious tasks that could've EVER been asked of me; however, it certainly worked, as I usually get the note within the day the gift is received.

Part of the biggest struggle for me as a child (besides sitting still long enough to write all the notes) was wondering what in the world I could write to fill up that daunting white space inside the card. With the help of my ever watchful mother, we came up with a template that I still use when unsure of what to say.

Right off the bat, I thank the individual for the specific gift and make a reference to it and how it might be used. If it's a new dress, I mention how much I look forward to going out in it. If it's a check or gift card, I might say how I've been saving up for a new lens for my camera. Or sometimes if I'm really at a loss (a gold sequined skirt? Really Aunt Vicki?), just an "I really love it!" can be acceptable.

After that, I make a little note about how I am doing. The majority of my gifts come from friends or family who I don't get to see very often (and I am terrible at keeping in touch), so I let them know how school or work is going....at least on a surface level. (Last year was a good card filler-graduation and moving to a new state was in my near future!) I also try to find something to ask the individual about, be it their family or their own job or a recent trip they took. If someone has taken the time to pick me out a gift (as misguided as it may be!), it is truly the least I can do to take an interest in their life!

Finally, I finish it off by thanking them again, and usually, if it is a far away friend or family member, telling them I hope to see them soon. The most important thing, or at least in my opinion, is to sound genuinely appreciative. Now that I've started gifts, I have experienced the frustration of getting a note with nothing more than "Thanks!" scrawled on the inside (you couldn't spend more than two seconds on me?) or not getting a note at all (particularly when mailing gifts-how do I know if they even got it?). Thank-you notes are a simple gesture that can be completed in a small amount of time that's set aside that can make a big difference in someone's day-and, as my mom made me believe, let you keep the gifts!

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