by Edie Summers

Created on: December 21, 2008   Last Updated: July 31, 2010

It's a brave new world in which we live. Relationships are more complex than ever. It seems hard enough to maintain balance in a healthy one, let alone a relationship that has gotten a little or a lot rocky. None of us wants to be in the position where we are blindsided by the announcement that our partner is leaving us. Yet, many of us feel powerless to figure out and fix the problems in our relationship that may be leading to that exact scenario.

Times have changed in other ways as well. According to a recent survey by AARP magazine, women initiate over 60% of divorces after the age of 40.* According to the study, more women then men seemed aware of problems in their marriage which led them to ask for a divorce. The biggest reason women cited for leaving? They are not getting the kind of emotional support and fulfillment that they need.
Modern relationships today are very different than what our parents and their parents experienced. Many women work full time jobs and take care of the kids and the household. Many men are contributing on the home front as well, even as they do their best to survive in the corporate world. Our lives are busier and our time is more structured than ever before. We can barely find the time to fit in brushing our teeth, let alone check in with our significant other.

In addition to so many external time constraints and pressures, many women today find themselves missing the immediate support of friends and family. The modern world has many comforts and conveniences, but it has also stripped away much of the natural support system that many women used to rely on. As a result, most women turn to their significant others for support, and have high expectations in getting their emotional needs met. While many men love to talk to their partners at length, some men find in-depth discussions difficult. It is simply not realistic for most women to hope that their partner can fulfill all of their emotional needs. But, if the old rules don't apply anymore, then what does? And who forgot to tell us?

While these are not hard and fast rules, here are a few steps you can take to immediately improve the connection between you and your partner:

Don't Put All of Your Eggs in One Basket

It is important to remember that some men are not very talkative by nature. That's why it's so vital for women to seek out and cultivate other friendships. When your partner isn't in the mood for talking, or has a different timeline for when he will be ready, you still

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