by Linda Johnson

Created on: December 21, 2008   Last Updated: February 04, 2009

Telling the truth is... I don't want to say easy as much as want to say hard, when we all know that the answer should be easy. Honestly, how many times do you make up a simple lie in one day?

Last school year the truth was the hardest thing to tell. Especially with all the accusations and rumors going around. I was constantly scared of once again being sent to the Guidance office or to Ms. Thomas, when I never did anything wrong. It's not fair, always being labeled.

5th grade-crazy,weird

6th grade-crazy

7th grade-depressed,strange

Sometimes I just shrug it off as a joke saying, 'watch out I'm crazy', but it really bothers me. I don't know why, I know I may come off as strange sometimes because I'm different. So I would always say 'You can laugh at me because I'm different,but I laugh because your all the same'. But last year I wasn't the crazy one for a change, they said I looked depressed. Did I?, because I was never depressed, no matter how many times you say I looked sad or upset or quiet. I don't bounce off the walls twenty-four seven. Its just that last year wasn't my best year, I had allot to deal with and the truth was one of them. No I never cut myself, no it never crossed my mind to kill myself. So stop looking at me as if it has.

I hated having to deal with the things I had to, like admitting to my sexuality, it dawned on me one day in December last year. It was so confusing. I was scared of what my friends would think, would they still talk to me? Would they still look at me as me? I've already seen how the world looks at people like me and that wasn't making the situation any better. I didn't want to go through what so many people before me did, the discrimination, the scrutinizing, dirty looks and all. I couldn't handle that, I can't handle that. It would just tear me up inside, and make feel like dirt. I don't want to sink to a low like that. But when will I speak the truth? When can I look in the mirror and say admit to it? I tried it twice, and both times I never got past "I..."

Looking back, I regret never speaking the truth at first. I was scared and very ignorant. I just didn't think about it. I pushed it to the back of my mind and let it stay back there, and slowly I gave up. I didn't bounce of the walls as much, I didn't like to participate in class, I would rather daydream of a better way to handle things.

In the end I learned a very valuable lesson. I've actually heard it before and thought it wasn't all that important, and that is that the truth will set you free, literally.

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