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Being honest sometimes is brutal frankness. 'It is not what is said, but how it is said,' is not new knowledge; but often forgotten to be put into use. It is all very well to be gentle in breaking the truth to someone who - like a child - needs honesty as a guideline in life. This would simply be living out honesty, on a permanent basis. In this way they would know where they stood, regardless of what they thought, or even believed as they grew older. Sooner or later, that demonstration by just always being honest with them, would become an open door within their understanding. Even to the point of realization in turning to you for an honest opinion. Which could by then maybe confidential, because of trust being the key in which honesty paved the way

But to know what language to speak in, depends on the mind-set and situation of who brutal frankness is directed to. Language is a vital point of communication, and not intended here as a foreign one. Reverse psychology, can be a way, when subtly, but brutally frankly used, even with a child, and can be extremely effective. If a young three year old was to meet you for the first time in a room and say (as kids do,) "I don't like you!"... it is amazing to see their reaction, when the return answer, is not what they expected. As, "I don't like you either, don't come near me"! Before long, that same child is right beside you, hoping you will like it, and not mean what you said. That brutal openness which was the child's frankness in the beginning, is seemingly cruel to turn back on them, yet in doing so, is only using their own language which they understand.

The same would go for a roughly spoken, always cursing, teen or adult person, who couldn't give a hoot. Yet for their own wake up call, gently, repetitive honesty would not reach their ears so accustomed to their language. Working in the gutters of life's language fields is a whole new crop to harvest. Is it brutal to cut down the wheat? It is simply something which has to be done and even wheat has ears. These ears (to whom one is brutally frank,) will hear their own language - believe it or not - and their ears will be their memory, which keeps ringing a bell until they do take note.

Honesty versus brutal frankness, are one and the same thing within the very word 'honest'. One... honesty, is usually within any conversation, and not even called for to define, but simply a way of life within one's character, and speech. Brutal frankness is as much for some also, a way of life, depending on where and how it is lived and called for. Even within a job, where it may seem brutal if someone is threatened, needs rescuing, or is just a good straight hard truth of a fact; sometimes even the difference between life or death. There are so many times both are called for in too many situations.

Either way, honesty can never change, but can help, and brutal frankness, when used in a language the ear it is directed to, understands, it too can only help. Harm is only when the user of any language within honesty, especially brutal frankness, is not given correctly, and the language aspect is then misunderstood. The chain re-action of this being misunderstood, can then be a whole new situation to deal with.

Learn more about this author, Irrira Rikki.
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