by Kandice Day

Created on: December 21, 2008

Is chivalry dead? Well, I suppose it depends on who you're asking. If you're asking a woman who has been married twenty years, she might tell you that it is. If you're asking a 15-year-old on a very first date, they might tell you no. But ask a twenty-something woman, and she will tell you yes without blinking an eye, unless she's gay.

I'm going to add a twist to this discussion, by entering the gay clause. Any female would say that she knows what another female wants. They want love, equality, and most importantly, respect. It seems to be common thinking that the reason chivalry is dead is because women don't want it anymore. I'm here to tell you that is simply untrue. Women most definitely want to be treated like a princess.

The funny thing with acts of knighthood, is that they never last long. A man may open the door for a woman as they enter the fancy restaurant on a first day, but walk out in front of her as they leave. He might meet her at the door of her home, walk her to the car and let her in first, but drop her off without turning off the car. A first date might involve the offering of his jacket if it's cold, but wanting it back if it rains.

A female will offer her jacket in the rain, knowing that is what her date wants. She will open the door on entering and leaving the restaurant. She will also gladly walk her date to the door, kiss her on the cheek, and walk away. Is it because she knows what her date wants? Perhaps, but she will go out of her way to make her date feel special because she knows that's what she's suppose to do. It's ironic, because lesbians would rather not categorize themselves into masculine and feminine roles, and yet one of them will more than likely feel a sense of chivalrous responsibility. And because of this, she will go out of her way to show it.

Chivalry is not dead, it has just evolved. A man will still hold open the door for his date, and hopefully well into their marriage. We never heard if Prince Charming and Snow White's marriage went smoothly, or if Cinderella and her man made it through the first years of marriage. We don't even know if he remained charming and knightly after the ladies are rescued. Have you ever wondered how the wives of the men of the round table faired while their husbands were serving their queen? Were these knights as chivalrous to their wives as they were to Guinevere?

Think about it. There are many forms of chivalry that thrive today. They may be short lived, short changed, or plain different from what most consider, but chivalry is not dead.

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