by Paula A

Created on: January 19, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

When the Person You Trusted most in the World lets You Down!

It is very hard for a child to come face to face with the awful fact that the one person you trusted most and thought you could always rely on lets you down and can't protect you, not even in your own home.

Mums are supposed to be the best thing in your life, they protect you from all the evils of the world, and they nurture you and help you achieve all you want to and what they want for you.

They are proud of you, they are on your side no matter what, they carried you inside of them and gave birth to you, and without them you would not be alive today.

Yes we all have this perfect image of what a mum should be but happens when the reality is far from that?

I grew up thinking my mum was the most wonderful human being, I worshiped her, she could have told me the sky was the earth and fairies do your washing and I would have believed it all, she was magic my mum.

When I was little she would sing to me, tell me stories and listen when I was sad. She was on my side what ever happened, I always thought she would die for me if need be and I for her.

I always felt that what ever came our way she would stand by me till her last breath. I remember one day a woman who lived close to us had shouted at me and pulled my hair because she though I had hit her daughter, it was infact someone else and she had got us mixed up.

I was so upset, I went home and told my mum, she gave me a big hug then went to see the woman, she grabbed hold of her and said that if she had a problem with me she should come and tell her and if she wanted to pull my hair then she had better do it to her first.

My mum, the perfect lady, I loved her so much; she could walk on water in my eyes I would do anything for her.

Why did it have to change, why couldn't she protect me from the one thing I needed protection from the most?

When I told her I was being sexually abused she chose not to help me.

We left to start with but within a few days we were back and from then on it just got worse. I don't know what the worse thing was really, the awful thing I endured at the hands of my abuser or the fact that my beloved mum chose to do nothing.

Years later after I had told her I wanted nothing more to do with her or my dad' she wrote me a letter. I read it again recently and she tried to explain how she had always loved me but was just a coward.

Yes she was right there; she was too much of a coward to go it alone without a man around who was abusing her daughter.

No not my mum, she was brave, she would die for me?

It's difficult to realize your mum isn't the person you thought she was and you have to learn to survive on your own in the big bad world.

But survive I did and I live to tell the tale of how I put myself back together on my own and I am all the stronger for doing so. You can survive too, please get help today, be your own brave person.

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