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Not because I didn't want her as my step-mother but because I felt she deserved much better than my father had given her emotionally (he provided financially but was abusive otherwise). I was very concerned about what would happen to Mom and I's relationship but true to course she came through for me. In her words, "You're my daughter and will always be my daughter."

A few years after the divorce Mom went to see a card reader for fun. I don't set any store in those things but the lady hit the nail on the head when she said Mom had 3 daughters; one of the heart and two of the blood. We both knew I was that one of the heart and that is what made our relationship one of the most special in the world she loved me as a daughter for myself, not because she gave birth to me, not because I came with the marriage certificate.

When Mom decided to re-marry I drove her to the church the day of the wedding. Her second husband became my step-father' and grandpa to my children. Mom has never introduced me as anything but her oldest daughter' and her new husband introduces me as her daughter or his step-daughter even though legally we are not related. Neither they nor I make a distinction other than what is in our hearts they are my parents.

If I were to give any advice to step-mothers or step-parents I would have to say, "Follow the example set by my Mom. Don't try to force a relationship just let it develop and don't expect the children' to do anything that you won't or don't do yourself. Set an example in all that you do including how you feel about them. Don't expect to be accepted over night, any relationship takes time to grow and so will this one."

Learn more about this author, Faith Draper.
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