by Angelia Edwards

Created on: December 20, 2008   Last Updated: February 01, 2012

I believe that it is never too late to step up and be a father, because regardless of a persons age we all need love, support, and guidance. A child living with out their father only wishes to know the father loves him/her. They spend a lot of time wondering why questions like: why he don't call, visit, write, miss me, hug me, or show up for holidays. The kid wishes for the father to do all them things. Kids go through depression, not feeling wanted,a nd sometimes the hurt turns into anger. It's hard for them to cope when they feel like there is something wrong with them because the father is not there.

A father that wants to repair a relationship with his kid should first make sure he is willing to be there for the things that matter most to that child. Such as holidays, hospital stays, graduations, school plays, sport games, and of course just spending quality time together. Kids get really excited just to get a phone call or a letter in the mail, but most excited over a surprise visit.  It's really small and easy things to do that make them feel loved.

Some father's do something worse than just staying away period, they will show up once a month or promise to show for something and don't. My own eleven year old has gone through that and I had to see him sit on my porch for hours waiting and crying for his dad.  No matter how loving I was he was only wanting the comfort from his father!  For a father to act in that manner, I feel that it is more damaging to the child emotionally!  That is why I stated the father should first make sure he is willing to be there for the things that matter most!

Growing up I had problems with my father. He was a good man in the since of being a provider. My brother and I had clothes, shelter, food, and other money bought things. The affection, support, quality time, and interest in getting to know us kids wasn't there. Now I am 31 and my brother is 37, we both still love our father and feel like we need him in our lives. We both still hurt over him not being there. Our father has nothing to do with us unless we call him or go see him, which just to note:he is not disabled in any way!

Hope is how I know it is never too late to be a father!  Beneath the hurt, resentment and anger we all have hope that things will get better!  It may take a lot of effort on the father's side to break down the wall he helped build, but it is worth it to have your child's love and respect in the end!

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