by Angelia Edwards

Created on: December 20, 2008

It all started when I was fourteen years old in 1991. I had asked my mom if i could stay home from school because of a belly ache. My mother had allowed me to stay home and left to go to her doctor appointment. My mother had been having pains in her ribs and had been to see a few different doctors. They had even sent her to the hospital for an upper and lower GI which showed nothing. This time she returned from the doctor saying it was a cracked rib. My mother took some of her pain medicine and we sat in the living room to watch t.v.

I heard my mother making weird noises and looked up at her. She kept leaning further over like she had no strength to pull herself up. I asked her if she was OK and when she answered it was slurred like she was drunk. I started thinking maybe she over did her medicine so I called my father at work and told him to come home. My father didn't believe anything was wrong,so I got upset and told him I was calling an ambulance for him to get home and even hung up on him.

When the ambulance got there I explained everything and even gave them her medicine she was on.My father did come home and we followed them to the hospital and waited while they ran test. We found out that my mom had a stroke. The doctor was very concerned because my mom was only 41,so he wanted to run more test. On the day of my fathers birthday February 15th the doctor came into my mom's room and said she has pancreatic cancer and it's terminal.

I was fourteen and didn't know what terminal meant,but I knew it was bad by the way my mom started tearing out her Iv's and screaming. My grandmother was told to take me for a walk. I remember feeling so confused and scared for my mom. My mother decided not to use chemotheropy or anything for that matter. All she wanted was to go home.

My father had to go to work and I was forced to go back to school. Two friends of my parents that used to be nurses stayed at our house and cared for our mom until we got home. They were great women and loved my mother very much.

I had never seen anyone dying up until this point nor had I even been to a funeral. I watched my mom lose so much weight and listened to her talk as if my brother and I were still little kids. I was scared senseless with no one to talk to cause she was my best friend.I remember last time I held her hand and sat next to her she asked me to give her a cigarette. I handed the lighter and cigarette to her and she moaned at me. Next she yelled at me to put it in my mouth and light it for her. My mother would never ask me to do that,so in my mind it was like she was already gone.I started crying and went to my room.

My father never took the time to talk to me about all the things going on.My father himself had a rough life and was dealing with pain of losing his wife,but of course me being a kid I needed him. My brother was also the type that ran from his problems and thought friends and drugs would make everything better.

On March 23rd I came home from school and everyone was surrounding my mother,I heard the two nurses say it's her time to go. Tears came to my eyes and I just froze. In just a few seconds all my memories with her rushed through my mind and she was gone.

My mother still is my best friend and I love and miss her so very much!

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