by Kandice Day

Created on: December 19, 2008   Last Updated: September 19, 2011

Let me first say that I'm engaged. I'm engaged to the most amazing woman I have ever met, and am the luckiest person to have met her and call her mine. She has literally brightened my life, brought challenges and achievements that I never thought possible, and shown me more unconditional love than is deserved.

With that said, I most definitely believe that gays and lesbians, transgendered and intersexed, bisexuals and straights should be afforded the right to protect their families in all legal matters, health matters, school matters, and personal matters.

When ancient man first fell in love, threw his woman over his shoulder, hauled her back to his "man cave," and spent the rest of his days with her, he had the inherent and natural right and responsibility to protect her and their children. When he was unable to hunt for food, or when the roles were reversed, she would venture into the wild to provide and protect her family. Since the dawn of time, one thing has remained steadfast, a couples' God given right to love and protect each other and their children.

My grandparents will probably not be attending my wedding. They are strict Catholics, torn between the idea of their oldest, and most loved, grandchild marrying another woman and the doctrine of their church. From the moment I announced our engagement, my papa has had many conversations with my father on the subject, trying to sort out his feelings. It is a tough dilemma, which I can understand and yet am completely dumbfounded by.

I am not a huge fan of The Church, but I understand its presence in the world and its purpose in so many lives, and I respect that. I also can respect the fact that my grandparents are committed to their religious beliefs. What I cannot respect, however, is the idea that a creature created in the likeness of God, given to a family as a gift from him, made with no mistakes for God makes no mistakes, can be considered unworthy of marriage. My papa agrees with me, and yet he has followed the Church's wishes for so many years that his mind will not let him stray.

Marriage is not about the union of one man and one woman. Marriage is about the union of two adult, consenting individuals with love and truth in their hearts. I do not believe that marriage is about procreation, for there are too many unwanted children in this world. How could God wish for us to create more, when there are so many without homes? Marriage is about commitment. It's about making the ultimate promise to each other, to each other's families, and to God. There is no higher commitment than that made to God. There is no promise greater than to tell God that you will love this person, support this person, protect this person for eternity.

In a world where your promise to God is restricted by the legalities of "morality" and ignorance, it's impossible to tell Him that you will protect your partner when the law says you can't. It is impossible to look to Him and make a promise to provide, cherish, and keep your family together and safe when the law says you are not afforded those rights.

When I take my fiance's hand, look her in the eye, and swear to her that I will do everything in my power to be by her side in good times and bad, I need to know that if she is lying in a hospital bed somewhere that I will be allowed to sit by her. When I look in her eye and swear to protect our children, I need to know that if she leaves before I do, that I will be allowed to take care of them.

I most certainly think that gays and lesbians should be allowed to marry, for the simple fact that civil unions and domestic partnerships to not offer these couples the ability to fully protect and provide for their families.

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