by Sumaiya Najeeb

Created on: December 18, 2008

As I have come to know, the world is divided into two groups: those who think thumb-sucking is okay and those who don't. Believe me, everyone on this planet is rallying on one side or the other of this issue, even you dear Reader. I recently discovered this fascinating phenomenon of human nature when I became a mom. You see, my child has the unfortunate habit of putting his thumb in his mouth. And every time anyone sees him doing this, they will always comment on it, without fail as the sky is blue.

There are people like our pediatrician who think it's perfectly normal for small children to find comfort through thumb-sucking and believe they'll quit eventually on their own. And then there is the other faction. Vigilante anti-thumb-sucking campaigners who march the streets in search of every errant toddler with a thumb in his mouth and the slipshod adults who pose as their parents. I have actually had a woman come up to me at the grocery store check-out line and lecture me on how my child will end up with his thumb in his mouth until he's 15 if I don't stop him right now.

Frankly speaking, this group scares me. If they're right, I don't know what horrors await my son because I didn't break his habit in time. I have tried so many times in so many ways to discourage him. I have put bitter medicine on his thumb, wrapped it in bandages, taped his thumb and index finger together, pulled his sleeve out over his hand and rubber-banded the opening, and even yanked out his thumb and held on to it for as long as I could bear his tantrum. But nothing works, the kid is too determined.

And this is not to exonerate the first group. They can be scary too. Did you know that pulling the thumb out of a little child's mouth can cause him to stutter and stammer when he grows up? This is because the child is soothing himself or trying to adjust to a new situation, and taking away his comfort can be traumatizing. I didn't know that. And I also didn't know that children are learning to be independent when they comfort themselves on their own by sucking their thumb instead of always relying on a parent. So, isn't it a good thing that my child does what he does?

As soon as I relax and start thinking that his habit is not such a bad thing, lo and behold, a vigilante: "Your child sucks his thumb? That's terrible, why don't you stop him? He's putting germs in his mouth, and his teeth will come out crooked." And the look they give me can melt the most hardened of offenders. It's a mixture of shock that an intelligent adult would allow this to go on and of sympathy for the poor, mistreated child. My son is happy, healthy, and full of energy and curiosity. So am I really making a serious mistake with him?

Is thumb-sucking really such a big deal, when there are points supporting both sides? And why are there sides anyway? Why is the world so fiercely opinionated about it? It boggles the mind. I wish everyone would please calm down. Parenting is hard enough; we don't need all this anxiety from total strangers and friends alike.

In the end we have decided to let our son be happy the way he is. If he's happy with his thumb in his mouth, he can go right ahead. I just make sure to wash his hands several times a day, and remind him that it's not a good thing to do. He'll quit one day. In the meantime, how should I deal with naysayers? I'm thinking a good line is, "Why don't you relax and try it yourself? Just remember to wash your hands first." Oh my, it seems I have just joined a side.

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