by Leigha Dobson

Created on: December 18, 2008   Last Updated: January 19, 2009

Lesbian cool? Huh? This is actually the first time I have heard that. And we own all the L Word dvd's and have the last season pre-ordered. However, I am also in the middle of nowhere. When I think about that and the tiny town in Kansas we live in I laugh. There aren't many "out" lesbian couples here although having been together six years and out as a couple for five years, we are lasting longer than most couples.

We have met many lesbians and I can't say that there really is a definition of a cool lesbian here. I know my wife and I are completely opposite. She is a chapstick lesbian who tends to dress more like a man and is more butch, but emotionally and physically she is pure femme. I on the other hand am the total opposite. I am very femme looking or lipstick and I do the handy work around the house. I rake the yard, clean up after the dogs, do most of the heavy lifting, and am just as much a tomboy as her. If you judge a book by it's cover you would think I never lifted a finger around this house. It is spotless though, and I am mommy and wife on the spot. I agree with being comfortable. I think or I would say my definition of a cool lesbian is one who feels comfortable enough to be herself and not be worried about what people think.

Around here we are who we are. Some of us are tattooed and pierced, some of us are partners, some of us are parents, and some are homebodies. We have long hair and short hair, but short is the most popular. The butch dress butch and really don't care if you know they are gay or not, but the femmes you can't always tell. Most lesbians in my area aren't out. They are too scared of what everyone would think. A lot of them keep it a secret and it is killing them inside in the process.

I am proud we are out and have a tag and bumper sticker that puts us out, but doesn't shove it in anyone's face. You don't have to look. No one made you. That is my opinion anyway. If you feel good being yourself, dressing however you are comfortable and feel good being you, that is cool. The people that have to label everything don't have enough to do. That is also how things get started. Anyone gay or straight who loves themself for who they are and what they wear I applaud. I myself don't keep up with fads, but feel great with the way I look and dress. If people say anything that is their problem and they need a better hobby. Not every person, relationship or partnership should be judged. There is only one judge, and depending on your religion it may be something else, but it is not for man to decide

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