by Maggie E. Ruiz

Created on: January 19, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

It is very difficult to fathom the richness of God's love for humanity. I can't even imagine what God's Love could ever be like. So how can I believe in such a thing?

Most of us believe in true love; the most intense and honest love to be found between two beings. And why? Because from the moment we recognize the first inklings of our sexual nature, we absorb society's notion that true love is a delicacy worth hunting for. It is a rare fruit to produce, but when reaped is it the most juiciest of feelings. We learn that to be in love is one of the greatest highs in life.

By adulthood, most of us realize that loving someone isn't completely a rosy deed; it indeed comes with a steep price. It means losing a piece of your sanity and succumbing to becoming a prideless puppet, especially if we fall in love with the wrong person. Loving becomes longing and the experience can sure leave one with a humble or broken spirit.

I ask myself why it is that we long for a special someone to love us? Why don't we instead search for the "supposed ultimate love" that can only grow from God's Greatness?

I want to believe in that great God's Love. I want to seek that love; a love that would make any soul completely satisfied. But I somehow can't.

And while maybe I waste precious time on seeking and yearning the "true" love of a special man, I wonder if I'm trying to fill a void that can never be filled with that of any human being's love. Could it be God's Love that can fill that void?

I terribly dislike the pretensions of religion, and I'm not exactly one to root for all the "godly-beliefs" most "religious" people fill their minds and hearts with. Most of it is just too sappy...So don't judge me and label me as religious you-fill-in-the-blank...I'm not an anything, not even an atheist...I'm still searching for the truth of God...

However, I believe that we are part of the strange creations of an extraordinary being. Maybe that creator has a special affinity for us. Even better, a special, extraordinary love. But at this moment in my life, I don't have the same passion to seek that God's Love as I do have for the love of the man I so direly love and adore.

It almost scares me to love this man more than I love God. How can I assure this? If God said to kill this man to prove that I love God, I definitely would not do it. In the Bible, I think one of the stories tells of a demand that God puts on a father (Abraham?) to kill his son to prove his loyalty to God. That's where I get my example.

So

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