by Mia Black

Created on: December 17, 2008

Yes you can by your child's affection with expensive gifts. They are not mature enough to know the difference between the $400 PS3 and sitting on the couch with Mom and Dad with a bowl of popcorn for Friday Movie Night. Give them the choice and they are going to choose their wants over their needs. And the sad part is that some adults confuse the two also. They believe that the higher the price, the happier the kid should be. But ultimately the problem with this method of thinking is that, it is not easily reversible and can become quite costly as the child grows older. Because as your child grows older and forms friendships they will eventually be introduced to the family that does enjoy the Friday Movie Night. But as an adult you've become accustomed to throwing them the gift and avoiding all that "quality time" stuff. And instead of the trip to the ice cream shop when they scrape their knee at four years-old, it's now a $300 super duper Ipod because they are twelve.

I've witnessed this fiasco unfold in a ten year span. The child is now enraged because she feels like her parents were never there for her and the parents are confused because they feel like they gave her everything that she ever wanted. But now the hard part of breaking this material relationship, is the child is a teenager and it's not cool to hang out with her parents and her parents don't know how to include her into their lives because they've depended on the electronics department to bring a smile to her face rather than their love, patience, and time. Those three things can't be taken away from your child. When you give your child your love, patience, and time, you are building lasting memories and instilling valuable lessons and morals that they have for a lifetime. Because it must be understood that the material can be lost, stolen, or broken and as quickly as it was bought from the store, it is gone. And unfortunately I've witnessed the failure of the parents comprehension of this idea, because they blow a gasket at the thought of their money being wasted.

So the question is truly, SHOULD, not CAN you buy your children's affection with expensive gifts? Because when you form your relationships on a material level, they are not personal. Anyone can buy your child the ice cream, toy, or latest cell phone. I mean ultimately you leave yourself in the position to be outbid. But if you give your child your unwavering affection, it will be returned and remembered without a hefty price tag.

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