by Lonnette Harrell

Created on: December 17, 2008

Much to my surprise this Christmas season, I find that I am estranged from what little family that I have left. After taking care of my elderly, widowed mom for 3 1/2 years, we have had a very hurtful disagreement that cannot be mended. I believe that for the sake of my physical health and sanity, I must now ask my brother to step up and take over her care. But unfortunately, their alliance is such, that I must separate myself from my brother, and other family members as well. It's a sad situation, but I have no regrets concerning my care and love for her, though it seems that I could never please her, or warrant her unconditional love and acceptance. (It's time for me to save my life now.)

With a situation like this, it would be easy to think that this Christmas season will be the saddest ever. I guess it's all in the attitude, but I plan to make it my best ever. Usually, I am so busy trying to please everyone else, by buying just the right Christmas gifts, decorating, cooking, and planning our family Christmas get-together, that the entire Christmas season goes by in a blur, and I don't even have time to sing, "Silent Night." I'm usually exhausted, grumpy, and disillusioned by the time the whole thing passes.

But this year, the Christmas season is going to be different! Oh, I forgot to mention that my daughter, who we adopted at age 3, (now age 20) will be going to England for the Christmas season to visit her birth mom and family, for the first time. So this truly leaves my husband and I on our own for the Christmas season. I confess that I have always secretly wished that I could escape during the Christmas season, and this year I actually can. My husband is going to surprise me with a get away. (Not far away, but a much needed change of scene.) I don't know where we are going. But we will travel in our van, and I will take Christmas with us. I plan to decorate a small tree ahead of time, and pack it for the trip. I also plan to decorate the place with Christmas touches here and there, as well as taking along our favorite Christmas music, both for the ride, and to create a Christmas feeling in the room. Candles will also be included to create a warm, inviting atmosphere, as we open our gifts. It actually sounds more romantic than anything we've done in years...

Another way I plan to celebrate the Christmas season this year, since I am estranged from my family, is to reach out to others-both friends and strangers. I plan to reconnect with the friends that I

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